Chaydash, good Chaydash, I swear I'm going to have cocaine and be together in Yuselaymi or Chaydash, thank God. I just, Mammus landed this morning from Florida. Thank you so much. I'm going to have a Chaydash. Mammus, so good. Incredible, he comes straight here. Good Chaydash. The month of Iyar, so Khosov, we know all this for him, Svei, out of the few races where she gave us an Iyashem, Ruffecha, it's a month of Ruffua. A month of the deepest healing, what is this healing about one way of understanding that I learned from Rabbi Nisendavid Kivak is that we rush, we rush into Torah. We think we could just open the book and we rush, we rush into Torah. And I realize, Hashem wants us to bring our entire selves in, to take seven weeks, Mammush, seven weeks, to be fully present, to feel every feeling, to feel every feeling. And also, according to the Rizal, to experience every state of consciousness, Godless, Godless, Godless Rishan, Godless Rishan, Godless Sheny, Godless Rishan, Godless Sheny, depths upon depths upon depths. It's going to make our whole connection to Torah so much more adult, so much deeper, fully three-dimensional, four-dimensional, forty-nine dimensional, it's going to make our connection in the Torah we can receive it and hear it and all these like we're opening 49 receptors within ourselves so we can hear the subtleties like just like a mono tone it's so deep it's word of Torah, it's pasok of Torah, it's pashe of Torah, it's mesechta, it's safer in Tanakh, it's halachah, it's zoyar, it's medres, mechulah, mechulah and and and it's a month according to the Arisa of Yannika. Pesach night is Ibor, Pesach night we got like a conception, a new spiritual conceiving of a new level of our soul coming into our body Mamesh and it needs to be it needs to be like a baby it needs to be suckled this whole month Yannika and then the full moichen the full consciousness comes down Shavuos night Yannika of a baby is consistent the mother has to consistently be there for the baby and feed the baby at different hours of the day and in all different emotional and consciousness states of being same way that we count each day we do the same act of counting the same act of counting but each day is a different whole different energy whole different encounter with the different emotional feeling with a different state of consciousness but we're there we're there it counts today counts and the kivak says we were so from to count and we forget to count ourselves that we count don't forget that we're we're getting that we're each of us is so important each state of being within ourselves is so precious to a Koshbarko and this is the other side of Harsenei that Isvitser says there was a sound of a shofar that was getting louder and louder Harsenei what was that that was the sound of the Chuka the sound of Tfila the sound of longing Harsenei was not just only Torah was Tfila it was us reaching upwards also and so too in this month can engage Tfila particularly with a tikkun of Hashem sfa sai tif tach Tfila is not also something you just rush into you just press play and you say the same thing Hashem sfa sai tif tach means this is a kivak Hashem sfa sai tif tach means Hashem open me up from where I am right now let me dab in and that means I have to realize where I am where am I check in with ourselves for a minute before Svanesra where am I right now what's going on and can I and can I believe that I can dab in from here and I ask Hashem to help me to dab in from here and we take three steps back and three steps forward he says that's the union of a Rikud Torah Yud and Likute Moran doing a little little jig because once once I realize I really can dab in to Hashem from wherever from from here from wherever I am and each day is a little new and it's a little bit alienated have I been here before I'm not sure it's a bit similar but not but when I realize Hashem wants my prayer right from here so then I'm a little dancing dancing back dancing forward and I can really really really dab in right so as it's Hashem we're going and heading in this month to deep deep healing I need Hashem to help out all of you to raise I need Hashem to help out and we're receiving that healing by counting counting each day realizing that each day really does count each emotional state within ourselves each consciousness states that we can receive Torah in a much deeper much realer much more weathered and present way that the the etiog tree is called the Priates Hadar because it says Hadar it's a fruit that dwells on the tree through all four seasons and that's Jewish beauty Hadar the beauty is the is the it's just the forgetting my English it's the word for not persistence but continuity there's a word what's that not exactly the word any case but it's just being able to be be and be and be and grow through all the different states and and that's true in our Torah and receive Torah so much deeper and that's true for our Tefila it's true for our Yanikas we're suckling and our our soul is suckling new energy with each counting and making us more and more present. Ah, Gavaltekarosh Baruch was putting us through so much and that means he really believes in us that we can somehow handle these unprecedented times that we're in and we should just only get deeper and just only say

Jerusalem, Jerusalem, to be in Jerusalem face of shame is a very big thing. It's a good thing. I'm happy. Being in Jerusalem, let's take a second. Let's take a second and feel, feel Jerusalem supporting you under your seat. Wow. Feel Jerusalem on your back. Feel your slime under your feet. Breathe the air of your slime. Ah. We are in Jerusalem. We are in Jerusalem face of shame. Feel your slime under your seat. Feel your slime under your feet. Feel your slime in your nose. Ah. Feel your slime in your breath. Ah. Let's do one deep sigh together. Ah. So good, so good. Come on, feel your slime. One thing that I know. I'm not going to hear a story from Ben, yeah? We want to hear stories about second chances. We'll have some Tyra also. We're going to go. We have the shul till Nate's. Ah. We have the Corbins. We're going to come. We're going to bring Corbanus. We'll bring Corbins together. We'll go into Shabbos and your Shalim is one thing I know. And every time I walk on the streets, your Shalim is telling me this. Sometimes I'm able to listen, sometimes not. Shalim is telling me, and all of us, I understand. I understand. Your Shalim knows what it is to be Kharev, to be in a state of Corban. Your Shalim knows what Corban is. Your Shalim knows it very well. What it is to be in a state of destruction. And what it is to be in a state of construction. And what it is to be with a base of Miqtash, without a base of Miqtash, with a base of Miqtash, without a base of Miqtash, your Shalim has gone through a lot. Your Shalim understands. Feel that understanding of your Shalim under your seat. Under your feet. In your nose. In your breath. And in your toes. Your Shalim understands. It's very, very real. It's very, very real. Our holy place is not just a transcendence. Also has transcendence. But it's not just beyond. It's not only celestial. It's your Shalim. It's double. Like a naim, a glime. Your Shalim Shalmala. Your Shalim Shalmata has a double identity. It's like a little split personality. A little issues, you know. It understands. Your Shalim understands. Shalim understands. Shalim has had many chances. Your Shalim knows Pesach Shani deeply, deeply. Pesach Shani was done here. For hundreds of years. We're in the right place for Pesach Shani for sure. So we're going to sit together. Let's sing one time. And then Ben's story. And then think of it. If anybody has any second chance of stories. We'll have time for everybody. But a few stories. And there'll be some Torah. And we can really go. Shalim Shalmala. Slow, slow. Shalim Shalmala.

Learning also last year at Pesachini reminding me every morning when you say modeh ani, probably because he was speaking about netzach, but it's the first night of hod tonight and hod is modeh ani, hodah. Every morning is mamesh literally it's actually a gansi or Pesachshini. Every every day mamesh we really are being given a second chance. We really are that's really are being given a new a new a new a new sense of life. This is why we have Birkot Hashachar. Why do we make these brachas every morning that I can see that I could walk that I can stand straight is because every morning Hashem gives us a feeling of newness, a feeling of Biryachad Hashachar being a brand being a new creation and and it's easy to it's easy to overlook that like maybe every Pesachshini we're re tapping in we're re-energizing our modeh ani for the year of every day of every day. Remember this room, remember the energy, remember usalim and say modeh ani. Begin the day with with with real thanks.

Just good Friday Good Friday I don't know about you Good Friday I don't have this good Friday Good Friday Good Friday I don't know about you with anyone else in this room starving for gula Woo Good Friday Good Friday Good Friday Good Friday I don't know about you with anyone else in this room starving for gula Woo Good Friday I don't know about you with anyone else in this room starving for gula Woo Good Friday Good Friday Good Friday Good Friday Good Friday Don't down the air to get the Tammur. All of our preparation was to get here, to get here to this place, to this month, to be able to see and to be seen as the Zashem Yisbarach. And like Shiva said, the same Dairizal, the Kedushah of Rosh Chaydash is the same in the Sphere, it's the same as the Kedushah of Arab Sabbath. Arab Sabbath and Rosh Chaydash have the same spiritual energies, the Fidarizal, the same configuration of the Sphere. What does it mean? It means that from this world we can connect. Just like Arab Sabbath, you prepare, you make a tool and it becomes imbued with something beyond. Rosh Chaydash, we're getting our hope back. Rosh Chaydash, we're getting back. We can connect the Kedushah of Rosh Chaydash from this world. We can. Yes, we can. And this Indian of the fixing of the eyes, the Vosemt of Hakkodos, when he first met the Taldis, when he first met the Hela, he told the Sakavids with Polnaya. The story was like this. Ah, they told us he was walking and he found another Yid whose load fell off his donkey. And they told us, they said, help me, help me. And told us that I can't, I'm sorry I can't, I'm a very important date, I'm busy, I have to do something. And the present, the present. Oh, I'm telling the story backwards. They told us the first man to Palshemto. And the Vosemt of Hela, he said, you know that I got a barhu. His mamesh, majgiah, is looking and seeing everything in this world, even the lowest creatures, even non-human creatures. I'm his majgiah on everything in the whole whole world. And the Taldis said, I can't, I just can't believe it. It's too much for me. I could believe I'm his majgiah on people. But on every single thing, all of nature, he puts clulling to put rules into the world. And the most simple looking in the eye and he said, it's not that you can't, it's that you don't want to. Many walked out and his other Jew, who blows the load off his donkey, and he said, help me. He said, I can't. And he got very upset with us and he yelled it and he said, it's not you can't, it's you don't want to. If I have the eyes to see another Jew, who I maybe think is a little below me, he doesn't agree with me. So many sheathes today in Israel. The eyes to see another Jew, then you can believe a shem sees all, shem sees everything. The fixing the eye, the fixing of Tamuz. And Rabbeinu says, Torah Reishi Yudzai and Ulta Timaran. Tamuz, Reishi Tevas, Ma'an Matan Taraseno. The time of the Torah really becomes real, but it's missing the Vav. Ma'an Matan Taraseno, where's the Vav? The Vav, he says, is our Zikara in it to remember. Zikru, Tairat Maisha. Remember we're sent exactly into this brokenness, exactly into this brokenness, because we can see it. You have to have the eyes, not to look at how bad, not to look at how hard, not to look at the pain, too much, cry, but not too much, look at what you can do, look at what you can fix, what a chesed opportunity this world is, look at what you can do. One phone call, one good word. There's no idea how much you can heal, how much you can fix. And that's bringing down and healing the brokenness, it's the month of the breaking of the Luchos. It's inhaling all of that brokenness, all the Shavira's are chalim. You're not only fixing when you put on film, but you are. You're fixing when you make eggs. It's a Jew making eggs. It's a Jew making eggs. Ah, give out, you have no idea. Making eggs. You believe this Shavira, but how can we believe this? You have to see all of our friends who need us, and realize how important we are. See, and then we can believe as Him is seeing us, and we can believe in our mitzvahs, to believe in our little breakfast. His Mark says, a Yidd, who eats breakfast, it takes out the jealousy from his heart, and puts in love. Shavira, don't forget to eat breakfast. Everyone's invited, we're having breakfast after halla lukhanka, chante, lukhayde.

Okay, say, in Ashur Yadzah we say, If Sahabid K'ayyem wa Ma'lifah nakhafidu Sha'aikha, if it weren't for the wonders of the workings of the body and Hashem keeping us in good health, you wouldn't be able to stand before you, before you, Hashem, even for one Sha'a, it can mean hour, it can also mean moment, not one moment. On the Talmud, Torah study is called K'ayyay Olam, like Everlasting Life, and prayer is called K'ayyay Sha'a, life of the moment. The particular specialness of prayer is the encounter with Hashem in the moment, and the appreciation of the body that is our connection to physicality, our connection to physical time as well. And the preciousness of each moment that we stand before Hashem in this physical form, the word Sha'a, it's also the letters appear in the Shmone Sraeli Tfilatam Sha'a, Shi'inayin Hay, which means to turn to our prayers, to face them, to be face to face, which is in the Holy of Holies, that's what the Cherubim, the two golden proven we're doing, they were facing each other. Yeshua, redemption or salvation is getting back to that position of being face to face. When we know that we're seeing Hashem in life, and particularly within the momentary, moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour, the K'ayyay Sha'a, that is the amazing and very nuanced and very easily glossed over aspect of what prayer is about. We too often catapult ourselves only into K'ayyay Ulam, into this little bit of an abstract, eternal kind of connectivity. And this blessing that the workings of the body can attune us to the wonders of connection within each moment as a preparation for prayer.

This is good, good, good. Ah, as the Qamar says, Qasubas said that Rabbi Meir used to say, where there was Rabbi Meir Omer. That at the Shiraz Hayam, at the song at the sea, also the unborn babies in the mother's stomach were singing. And also the Ubarim in the name of the mother of the Shiraz Hayam. Now, if you write and say, Hayam Omer is saying this, why was it important? Why is it important that he would say this? Hayam Omer means he would say it a lot. Why was it such an important thing to talk about? It's a nice miracle, but a strange miracle. Why did you say this? So, one day Rabbi Meir Omer, Rabbi Meir Omer, I remember Rabbi Meir Omer Omer, I said, help me. See, maybe he is teaching us what it means to really sing. Every time, that really, really, you really sing, something that's not yet born inside you, starts to also sing. What is not yet born before, is also the beginning, is also the beginning. Rabbi Meir Omer Taravav, Rabbi Meir Omer Taravav, I believe in the love that is coming. This, I'm ready to exist. I'm ready to be. Parts of me that haven't yet sung their song yet. They've been quiet. They've been lost. Where are they? Where are they? They're stuck in Bizzayon. They're stuck in a place of feeling shame. And? Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt. Rabbeinu, the great teacher of our generation, of Nisendavit Kivak, he once told his closest Talmud. He said to him, oh, happy birthday. And his Talmud said, it's not my birthday. My birthday is like in a completely different month. So no, no, no, no, happy birthday. But Rabbi, it's really not my birthday. Is that, you know, your birthday is the day that you start loving Bizzayonot. That you're able to love Bizzayonot as a hard word to translate. Bizzayonot means discomfort. Discomfort is one way to translate. Discomfort is not necessarily shame and embarrassment. It's related, but buzz means to feel kind of cheapened and what's that? Humiliated, humiliated, yeah. Exactly, losing the respect. What does this say? Reem Nachman says, the essence of Chuvatoravav is to, is, is Cheshma Bizzayonot, you don't be stopped. And when you hear your humiliation, you're able to have inner and outer quiet. What's that about? Ah, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt, Gavalt. It means we're living, we're living most of our life in a little bubble that we made. A little closed space, but we're much smaller than who we really are. Anybody tries to move my cheese, it's like a Bizzayonot, you think I'm not, I'm not good enough as I am? This isn't good, this isn't, this is, this is, there's something wrong. You're trying to change me, right? We have our fighter flight. We have our swords ready, our daggers, our pistols are, and we're ready, we have our hiding places, we have our addictions to run to, we have our, all of our things to run to, anything, but today we can love the Bizzayonot to realize, wait a minute, well how could I, what does that mean? That's my birthday. Ah, you don't be a stock, to have inner and outer silence means I don't answer back, and I also don't inside beat myself up. Shoyftim, the shoytrim. We have many shoytrim inside ourselves, but there's no shoyftim. The shoytrim are going crazy, whacking yourselves, the things that we have, they have to be following a directive of shoyftim. Now he says that there's a special piece of wood that has a word noam on it, that you hit yourself with sweetness, with sweetness, hey, start singing, hey, where is your song? Hey, we need you, right? Because, Mabinah, you're teaching us. Ah, yai, yai, yai, yai, yai, yai. Iker Hachuva, because Tuva of course is to admit what I did wrong, to feel it and feel the regret, and kabbalah latid and to decide I'm gonna act different, right? But I can do all of that still within my own kavod, still within my own little cage. Iker Hachuva, Iker Hachuva, to really feel, wait a minute, I'm spending my whole life just looking for things to work for me. Am I spending my life, can I spend my life that things should work for Hashem's kavod? Can I spend my life that things should work for Hashem's kavod? I'm scared out of my mind to sing my song. Because what are people gonna say? I need my kavod to be intact, I'm scared out of my mind to really sing my song. But if I care about Hashem's kavod, then I know when I sing my song, I am Hashem's kavod. You are Hashem's kavod. You are Hashem's kavod. You are Hashem's kavod and we need your song. Don't let these silly, these you're not, these things, I'm upset, this happened and that happened. And I keep myself stuck there and I repeat the patterns and then I hurt myself again having stuck there inside and whatever. Kivav! Kivav! Kivav! Mamesh of Rabi Meir is singing that they, ooh, that we have inside ourselves unborn potential of, that's why we're, that's why we're here. We need to sing, we need to do our thing Mamesh, Mamesh, Mamesh. It's the most joyous, amazing light. It's so light, life becomes so much lighter when we put Hashem's honor first and we stop being so concerned, so overly Meshugah and our own stuff. Mamesh, Mamesh, Mamesh. Cheshmabi's, you know, that's your birthday. You can hear your cheese being moved and say, okay, wait a second, this is, why am I triggered right now? There's a deeper wound over here to something and I can be quiet and not respond, I can be quiet even on the inside, witness it and say, hey, where is a deeper energy in there that I lost touch with because I've been so busy feeling crappy. Where can I find that lost energy and release it and sing? That's real too, that's ikr-hat-chuvah. Then this whole thing of the essence of you becomes real. It's not just another thing for my honor. It's Hashem's honor. You spend some time, spend a half an hour, figuring out, I should do this, I should do that, I should, maybe this, maybe that, you know, like think about what this means practically and then just basically spend the rest of the day being besindchah if it doesn't work out. Mamesh, because that really, that's the only way for things to really happen. It's the only way for things to really happen. We'll speak about it more. He was saying yesterday, there's a yechud called revitsa, the mother bird, sitting and bringing warmth and the feeling to the baby birds. This we can do for ourselves. This is this yechud nithla of Elul, we'll speak about it more with the shaymas of Hashem. Because Revinach was telling us, chuvah is a derech, it's a derech. It's okay, it doesn't happen all at once. It's a path. It's a path, the main thing is to get moving. To get moving. To stop being curled up in a ball, saying, don't move my cheese. You can get moving, chevrah. Get singing, we'll speak about it more by the sutrah.

Wow, what a wonderful gathering of covers. Thank you everyone so much for coming. Peligado, Peligado, Amash Peligado. Wow, Australia, we're in Yutulaymi, Akhoydash, Nui Akhoydash Burkha, how can you hold back? It's so beautiful, your Yudin is so beautiful. How can you hold back? Oh, the T-Ferris, the T-Ferris, Zuham Iqdash, that's what it says. The beauty, the beauty that brings us, that's who we belong, we belong in the palace. Oh, we're going to show that to them. And we need a chore of our tzadikim. How can you do it when we're flogging the maila? To help us through khashvan, my khashvan. We're going back into the washing machine cover. And it took me over half an hour to get out of Bechemish this morning. Just to get out of Bechemish. Well, I had to always throw in challenges that we don't expect. Always. Always, always. And the trick, the trick from Rabbeinu, Nachman, Ben-Feges, Hussergen, Rabbeinu. So maa et vichoy dachman. Maa et vichoy dachman. The lesson, the cover we have for ourselves is, I mean, it means the way I think is to go. The way I think is to go. Whether it's a situation, or whether it's who I am. When do I deserve of divine love? When do I deserve to feel love by Hashem? Maybe one day when I, you know, when I be like some other guy, or some Rabbeinu I had in fifth grade, or I don't know what, saw the neighborhood on the street, or like that, that one Shabbos I had that was good. But when I can have every Shabbos exactly like that, then maybe I'm worthy to receive God's love. Maa et vichoy dachman means swallow the sweetest pill in the world. Hashem loves you as you are in your situation. It's not hard to sing anything but that. No! We'll fight tooth and nail. Permits for Godayl al-Liyah as be'ats mis-tamid. We're going to, we want to break our, our, our, our devakas with, with being upset and complaining. Khaas v'shalam, you know. Leheligur of Leblah, Eger, the grandson of Bik'i of Eger. He writes, and I don't know if he's the first person who said it, but Mark Hashan is Marach Hashvan, Sifavah say that our lips are still whispering a little bit the davenings of Hashanim Kippur. It means we have a little bit access as we look at ourselves in the mirror, as we face sitting in traffic for over half an hour, v'chule, that's a very light example. But whatever goes on, right, that as we face these things, this, this feeling is still in there, still in there somewhere, still, still whispering somewhere. I was, uh, davening Chakras on Friday that Samsh had helped me to give some kind of cheer on B'racis, and it came to my head that the word B'racis backwards is Tisha-er-bet, Tisha-er-bet, Tisha-er-bet. So one thing is stay second, like remember Sam is first, stay, stay second, don't be so stuck in that thing. Another thing is Tisha-er-bet, stay, look again, stay with it, don't just be stuck in your first impression of who you are, of how your day is going, of what the situation is, stay in it, stay just a little bit longer, just stay in it. Tisha-er-bet, look at it again, let in the whispers of your davenings from Rashana, and think maybe, maybe, maybe I'm only upset because I have my covered of how I think she should be, and I'm not willing to accept how much Asem loves me as is, how much Asem giving this exact situation, this traffic with that car in front of me, and the window a little open, and some exhaust getting into my nostrils and annoying me, and whatever, exactly all of these things are from Meshashis and Mabracis, that there's a deep story, Hester Lushan's story, there's a deep story going on, and now if you ask her, ask her, I will put myself into your story. It's a, we have to believe in our stories, and the Rabbi says, let's cover the lochaf to experience divine honor in your life, you need a chaf, and Kivak explains this, based on Torah, Pei, Be'ez, and Tinyana. Kaf is made out of two Yud, the letter Yud is Yud, Vav Dalit, the hidden letters of Yud is Vav and Dalit, which is also 10, right? She says, the first Yud is the Yud of Emuna, that I believe, and I can't see it, I believe that this traffic is Meshashis and Mabracis, I'm still burning inside, I still work set about it, but I'm dealing with it, I'm accepting it, it's the Yud of Aleph Dalit Nune Yud, the suffix, the possessive suffix on God's name, my God, right, is giving me this, this, right? And you hold on to that until you get to the hidden Yud, which is the Yud Chokhmah, Kaduma, the first Yud of Yud Kvav Kik, right? You know that these two names are very connected, the Yud of Chokhmah and the Yud of Emuna, and when you connect those two, you get Kaaf, which is the Kaaf of Kavud, which is the Kaaf of this Chak, that as you can just see, that it enters the Makik, it's really for me, this is really my life, I touch it so like Kapecha, the Koreshbahu who really is holding me in his hands. Together we can do this Kaver, and sometimes they have to start with our feet, they're going to say to our Yud, ah, yudem ningundim, wechias Kaveri kudim, nintakim kol adinim, involve your body, because your body was so easy right off our body, not body, whatever, it's gashmi, who cares. If you dance, you'll involve your body, you'll awaken the ancient memory of how kosh of you are, your smelly feet, our muah, Hashem can't get enough of them, the Simkh Astora is the Iqra, and the whole Kashfan, this is, when you involve your body, you'll remember this, that's another Eitzah. So there's the Yud, the Emuna, the Yud of Chokhmah, there's dancing, tishaya base, remember, remember, wait a second, let's look at it again, it doesn't have to be such a half-tap, tough situation, tough date, tough perspective on myself, mama'id b'khvah d'atsmo, because Hashem has so much covered for you, we have to let go of our picture of our, of our images that we were there, f'l'chaim, yudem ningundim, kudkhaydesh, kudkhaydesh, ayyadeh shirav, nintakim kol adinim.