Dr. David Lieberman - For Educators "Giving Constructive Criticism"

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Dr. David Lieberman’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

[Music] yes so what I found is that there are two major friction points when it comes to all relationships particularly with bakam and that is how do you give to Kaka how do you critique how do you tell them they're getting something wrong without them melting down or attacking right you have you know people deal with anger in different ways some people will shut down they meltdown they'll get defensive other times they'll just go defensive other times they'll just go for the throat and it's sort of like you just wanted to point something out obviously for the right reasons and it the typical approach doesn't work so we're going to cover how to criticize the bck who can't hear criticism by the way this also works in every relationship if the rebit and kids whomever it is comes in handy so I here and the other friction point in relationships with bck is when they come to you and they have something that they want to do hey Reby how come I can't do this or can I do this how do you not do this or can I do this how do you not do what they want to do and still keep the relationship solid where they're not walking away right you didn't come to them with they're coming to you how do you say no to an anain request which you have to say no to without it injuring the relationship even more so how do you fortify the relationship and still say no so if we can accomplish both of these things next 30 minutes I I think uh we'll have to at least a decent start and then time permitting we'll go into some other things again at any point in any questions comments thoughts fire

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1. 0:01[Music] yes so what I found is that there are two major friction points when it…
2. 6:13yeah of course re sure great respect you mean the re is showing respect of course…
3. 12:19so we're talking about bakam who specifically feel dismissed they feel invalidated they don't feel valuable…
4. 18:26to give you what you need my limitation not yours cuz you got to have the…
5. 24:34you've got to start over you're done you're done clearly you're he's not important to you…
6. 30:45rules we're both Bound by rules you know what I got to follow the rules you…
7. 36:56you talk about Reby had maybe told you a couple of times put that away or…
8. 43:06cast on his arm and couldn't fly as paper airplane doesn't make a difference you're going…
9. 49:20integrity meaning if the bucker says I am going to be on time you you you…
10. 55:29they're not going to say no to that yeah do that you agree disagree or I'm…

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