Cómo Ser Felices de Verdad! Dr. David Lieberman. #ChaimHeritageFoundation.-

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Dr. David Lieberman’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

We've heard a lot today about vatronis, the power to yield. But what's going on in a person's brain that makes it so difficult for a person to yield? You as an international expert have studied this field? Dr. Lieberman, can you give us some insight? >> Sure. So, there's a lot going on there, but to bottom line, it when somebody does something to you, it's rarely about what it is they're doing. Rather, it's a perceived lack of respect. This person doesn't like me enough. this person doesn't trust me enough, this person doesn't care enough about me. So what happens is rather than face the pain of happens is rather than face the pain of those feelings, my ego engages and I become angry. Once I become angry, it makes it very difficult for me to be matur. And the anger is sort of the number one weapon of the ego and rather than feel the pain of facing the reality of feeling hurt or embarrassed or whatever it is, I get to feel angry and anger sort of is the illusion of control. It makes me feel powerful and once I'm angry, it's much more difficult for me to be mater. But what bothers us is not whether that window is open or

Jump to a moment

1. 0:03We've heard a lot today about vatronis, the power to yield. But what's going on in…
2. 1:34right to be appreciated my right to be respected. Forget about the window. Had this person…
3. 3:35is engaged is a degree to which we don't see reality clearly a person who is…
4. 5:06transform people's lives and they won't do it. They cut off their nose despite their face.…
5. 7:08and it's still going to nag at me. Why would I feel that way? >> Ah,…
6. 8:41we can rewire ourselves and make it physiologically easier the next time to become more and…
7. 10:46spiral a relationship even in our marriage in an entirely new direction. What happens is one…
8. 12:19make it easier the next time. And you talk to these people that live to be…
9. 14:21hashem? Right in physical space we move closer to one another in the non-physical world in…
10. 15:53taking advantage of me or even in instances of abuse that we're not talking about being…

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