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Torah · 0:42

10 Commandments of Marriage adapted from Rav Avigdor Miller: 1st Commandment: Be Realistic Part 2

19 views · Jun 4, 2026

Rabbi Avigdor Miller

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The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Avigdor Miller’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

You're not unhappy in your marriage. You're unhappy that your spouse isn't someone else. This is commandment number one for my dear Rebi Ravik Dilla's ten commandments of marriage. Be realistic. And Rilla explains, people audit their spouse for what's missing. Not smart enough, not funny enough, not exciting enough. They spend years grieving a person who never existed instead of loving the person who does exist. Hill teaches in who is rich? The person who is happy with his portion. The marriage you have isn't broken. The fantasy you compare to is broken. Drop the fantasy.

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  1. 0:00You're not unhappy in your marriage. You're unhappy that your spouse isn't someone else. This is…
  2. 0:30compare to is broken. Drop the fantasy. The marriage you actually have was waiting for you…

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