PART 11: THE RED FLAGS TO LOOK OUT FOR IN DATING

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Dr. Jack Cohen’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

life partners should have the same goals the more different the goals and values are the more challenging the marriage will be you need to have same goals if i want to have four or five children and the person i want to go out with once i have two children and a pet dog we have a problem we're not on the same value so we're going to get into that a little bit in a few moments what does it mean to have the same values we should share the same goals another problem could be religious disconnection if i'm shabbat i hear this all the time where one of the people is all the time where one of the people is shaming shabbat and they're considering dating someone who's totally not i don't advise this at all because that's too much of a disconnect and that creates crises galore you need to have someone who's somewhat on the same level playing field on your religious levels what i love about the shidduch system is that you have a person who you can bounce off the relationship to typically in the shidduch system sets up the date and then he or she lets it go after three or four or five dates where after three or four or five dates where now the people are communicating directly i can't tell you how many wonderful relationships go bust because there isn't that third party that could have helped get that boat out of the pier very carefully sometimes people miscommunicate this is a misunderstanding and they decide it's not for me and a great opportunity is lost so the great the great ma'alao the great benefit of the shidduch system it allows a third party who's experienced to sort of move things along and fix

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00life partners should have the same goals the more different the goals and values are the…
2. 2:03your schools have you attended time that you devote to the jewish community things that you've…
3. 4:06family what's his plan what's he doing for parnassa that's critical how will you pay the…
4. 6:07where they find that after the marriage that there's something cuckoo upstairs check into that very…
5. 8:11so why are you bumming around every day at midday i go to show every day…
6. 10:13little sensitivities can tell a big big story let's say you're going to a restaurant it's…
7. 12:18take that into consideration look out and see if there's any dysfunctional relationship in his or…
8. 14:19themselves will ever be able to afford apartments at the where we're going we'll never be…
9. 16:21third degree burns all over her body and the man who's telling the story says my…
10. 18:27but i have third degree burns all over my body and i have scars and he…

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