Daniel Grama & Aliza Grama: A Child in Recovery [Divergence 1/4]

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Yussie Zakutinsky’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

David Bashevkin: Hello and welcome to the 18Forty podcast, where each month we explore a different topic, balancing modern sensibilities with traditional sensitivities to give you new approaches to timeless Jewish ideas. I’m your host, David Bashevkin, and this month we’re exploring intergenerational divergence. Let me just say a word about what we mean by that topic. We’re talking to families where the parents and children have different religious lives, and how those religious differences bear or on the couch on, I don’t know, on a weeknight and thinking about your relationship with God or any sort of ritual, Halakhah, whatever it is, so you think about Judaism as an individual. And I think that for most of our early lives, we’re probably most conscious of our Jewish life as an individual. And then, especially when you’re much older and you settle into a community, you start thinking about where you’re sending your own children, if you have children, to school, and where you affiliate, and what institutions you give to. We also think about Judaism as an institution, as a large community. And we have our communal and institutional affiliations. And somewhere in the middle, not as an individual, and not as the entire community, we have our familial Jewish relationships. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to say that those aren’t always all the same, and that can be okay. Meaning, a lot of people might find that offensive, or Judaism is Judaism. You can’t pick and choose wherever you go. And God forbid, that’s absolutely not what I’m saying, I want to clarify that. What I’m saying is that, the way that we express our commitments, the language we use, the sensitivities we have, what’s kind of called in the secular world code switching, the way that we talk.

Jump to a moment

1. 0:05David Bashevkin: Hello and welcome to the 18Forty podcast, where each month we explore a different…
2. 6:35to the Avos, to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov, why didn’t God give the Torah to them?…
3. 13:03beim heim,” it’s her home, what are you going to do with that? And not to…
4. 19:44David Bashevkin: Oh, that’s absolutely, that’s so kind of you. So the way I found out…
5. 26:11and not performing that well, but to say that we saw her as a religious, as…
6. 32:57are outside of our control, is a trauma that it’s hard to even comment or use…
7. 39:14this path of disruption. It was much more about what she was missing, and that she…
8. 46:01that’s one lens. If you’ll allow me to just add in two other lenses before you…
9. 52:38go looking religious. But now if I’m going somewhere, it’s a matter of respect. If I’m…
10. 59:01family. There were times it was a pressure cooker, there were times the house was a…

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