Rabbi Binyamin Yuhanan - Parenting Part 8 - Parenting & Control without Chinuch

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Emet Outreach’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

[Music] do [Music] good evening today we are learning about good evening today we are learning about proper education raising children we're continuing learning from the book spare the child and we're continuing our topic control versus control and then we described what is education and what is control and we education and what is control and we explained that uh you need both control and hynuk one without the other is not gonna work um and there has to be a specific order first there has to be a control and then there has to be education and we gave an example that if you explain yourself before yourself before demanding fulfillment of of a request then you're putting education before control and not only doesn't work but it causes damage and one of the reasons is that it makes the child feel that your demand needs an excuse since it needs an explanation that explanation is not education but rather an excuse is not education but rather an excuse a reason why really you don't have the right to ask for for it and you're trying to manipulate and convince the child why he really should do what you're asking and we learned this from the giving of the torah the jewish people understood the proper position of uh control before hinuk and when hashem offered them the torah and when hashem offered them the torah they said we will do. and then once they committed that they will do it they said we would also like to hear the explanation hashem said to the angels who revealed the secret to the jewish people because this is a great secret when if you want to know if

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00[Music] do [Music] good evening today we are learning about…
2. 5:39spare the child book and we're in uh paragraph three the enhanced effect of control that…
3. 11:22excited about something that excitement is um the initial outburst it's the they cannot control their…
4. 17:06an apology it comes across as though the parent feels that he doesn't really have the…
5. 22:44it now on page 51 it makes no difference whether the parent is actually apologizing or…
6. 28:53a small child does a childish behavior you can stop him and that's it don't have…
7. 34:40um so when it's a non issue you can exercise control if it bothers you but…
8. 40:18their desire to be children they throw a ball and they break a vas or chandelier…
9. 45:57he's just a little bit more active than other children he's not any worse he's not…
10. 51:39um the gemara says that one of the most healthy behaviors for children is to break…

Every second of this shiur plays inside Lehallel — a filtered YouTube library where each video was reviewed against one written standard before it could appear. No ads, no comments, no autoplay into anything unapproved.