Rabbi Binyamin Yuhanan Parenting Class 46 Showing Love to Your Children will Not Spoil Them! Child

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The opening of this shiur, in Emet Outreach’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

Shalom. We are continuing learning about parenting from Rabbi Yakobson's book and we are on page 316. We mentioned last week that um besides control and besides authority, a very important part of education, the actual education is instilling in our children desire to be good, desire to do proper things. Even without parents supervision, children should be inspired to do what's right by themselves. And um the best way to achieve it is through positive environment, through love, through uh positive reinforcement, encouragement. And the topic today is effusive love. Is that pampering? Is there such a thing as giving too much love? Some parents justify distanced behavior by explaining that they don't want to pamper or spoil their children. Yes, we live in a world where children are overprotected. Children are spoiled and it's not good. Yes, we agree that spoiling children hurts children. Spoiling children makes them insecure, makes them vulnerable, makes them unhappy. And in the name of not spoiling children, some parents make a mistake and they treat their children sternly. They treat them without a smile, without a hug, without a kind word. And let's see if this is correct. Not being soft, they explain, will make the child strong and tough, capable of dealing with the real world. And I'll tell you from my experience that from the tough parents come insecure children because the message they get is I'm never good enough. That means that I am incapable of doing anything. My parents never approve no matter how hard I try. and therefore they have very low self-esteem. This is nothing but a distorted rationalization. Again, a a parent that thinks that I

Jump to a moment

1. 0:01Shalom. We are continuing learning about parenting from Rabbi Yakobson's book and we are on page…
2. 2:34because the message they get is I'm never good enough. That means that I am incapable…
3. 5:38I pay for her car lease and insurance and phone bill. Oh, she doesn't understand that…
4. 8:47with all kinds of material things instead instead and they refrain from placing demands on their…
5. 12:02quiet. And by the way, this is one of the fears that we should have. What…
6. 15:05Can you imagine it? I was all mixed up. I didn't know what to say. He…
7. 17:41But I never kissed him. Even when he was really little, even when I gave him…
8. 20:51speak to them one more time and tell them how much I love them, appreciate them,…
9. 23:59handle. But not all of us are so fortunate. And his father realized his mistake immediately.…
10. 27:02stopped short. Apparently, he didn't want to get emotional again. He gave a short goodbye and…

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