Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Yussie Zakutinsky’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

lot think everybody asks all the time is they wonder is this normal is this what other people do I don't know if a lot of people ask that maybe the very question is this normal is something I've asked myself is it normal that I ask myself if this is normal so often but a lot of times particularly in parts of our lives where we're not sure what to compare what the Baseline is in other people's lives we ask is this normal is it normal for me to be having these thoughts these concerns these doubts is my level of anxiety normal something that you would ask a therapist and I think there's one area that maybe we don't even ask the question enough but there are so many resources to help us address it and that is the question is this normal in terms of our relationship in terms of our marriages in terms of Our dating process is it normal the way that this person spoke to me the way that this person makes me feel is this just the normal feelings that everybody has is it normal that I'm not more excited that I'm less excited is it normal that I sometimes get into fight lights or disagreements with a spouse I think a lot of times we ask this question is it normal because we have very little information to know what is going on in everybody else's lives this is rightfully called our intimate lives and I use the term intimate lives deliberately not because it refers to anything sexual because this is the closest the inner sanctum of Our Lives we don't ever really quite know what is going on in other people's marriages we sometimes surmise I have no doubt that other people again now everything's gonna come back to the

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1. 1:04lot think everybody asks all the time is they wonder is this normal is this what…
2. 6:48organization that has dedicated itself to kind of stepping into the darkness stepping into the Shadows…
3. 13:06very bad idea in terms of the safety of the women I still to this day…
4. 19:31get a shout out he's been calling me that sounds anyone who knows this is true…
5. 26:04when you reflect back as a parent do you think you fostered an environment with your…
6. 32:18force and I'm curious why like what brought you to this issue on the OU you…
7. 38:09don't want to say control or handle your abuser but you know how to predict what's…
8. 44:33situations and you don't necessarily know that until you get in a situation and sometimes a…
9. 50:50go with him because they love him more than me he's probably one of the best…
10. 57:15relationships with commitment because I think so many people are worried and part of the fear…

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