Part 1: Truly understanding our Kids in Pain!! (247)

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Avi Fishoff — TWiSTED Parenting’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

The concept is that Hashem does not expect a to to be judged the same as a healthy person who's walking. So a child goes through a trauma. Any person goes through a trauma, goes through a situation. Hashem is a rachum, a chanon, he's understanding, and every person is sent out to Earth and they have a different mission. Somebody who is dyslexic is not meant to sit and learn. That's cruelty. That's cruel. If we could fix it, whatever. We know that Hashem judges by effort. Lefum tzara agra. We know that Hashem judges by effort. Hashem doesn't expect every kid to get a hundred on the test. Some kids, they just sit there, they don't even try. And they just get a hundred. Other kids are going through trauma or they're dysfunctional or they're dyslexic. They can't get the same mark. It would be a cruel Hashem, a cruel God to expect everybody to get the same mark. Not only that, Hashem rewards for the ameilus of Torah. And the Sefer haChinuch brings down that the ikkar s'char for learning is on the ameilus. So if you can go through with a daf yomi shiur and you're not working very hard cuz you just naturally enjoy it and you listen and you could focus, you get less s'char than the one who is struggling to focus or the one with ADD or ADHD or LD or any kind of letters you want to put after his name or just going through a hard time. He just lost a lot of money or he has bills and he and he has daigas. He's not expected to perform like everybody else. Yes, the person himself has to try and all of that. That's true. But for us to judge other people by the standard of a healthy person is cruel. It's cruel.

Jump to a moment

1. 0:01The concept is that Hashem does not expect a to to be judged the same as…
2. 1:36Hashem doesn't do that. It's no question. Ask your rabbonim. Don't trust me. It would be…
3. 3:40everybody who loved you, right, when you were good, remember every When I was good, you…
4. 5:47wheelchair, "No, you go get it yourself." We would never listen to somebody tell us, "Don't…
5. 7:52hard to dress, you know, for the family simcha. And meanwhile, all that meant is that…
6. 9:58wonderful is doing this, it must be that my other kids would have done the same.…
7. 11:31Rachmana litzlan. He will tell you, I couldn't stay there one more second. I didn't I…
8. 13:36this cuz we have bad expectations. So, of course they're going to steal because we're not…
9. 15:39crawling home, and you're going to listen to all my rules, and you're going to love…
10. 17:50don't supply money for not sneez. You don't give money if they're going to use it…

Every second of this shiur plays inside Lehallel — a filtered YouTube library where each video was reviewed against one written standard before it could appear. No ads, no comments, no autoplay into anything unapproved.