Practical Advice: When your KiP is in a BAD or ABUSIVE relationship (601)

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Avi Fishoff — TWiSTED Parenting’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

[music] >> So the question is that you have a daughter and you're doing Kipa and she has a boyfriend and the boyfriend is >> [music] >> bad news. He doesn't have a good character and he abuses her and he mistreats her. And now because she's a part of your life because you're doing Kipa Baruch Hashem so she's [music] home much more and she's living at home. She comes up for meals etc. etc. And then the question is now that she's home so you see it much more and her siblings see that she's being abused by this guy. She would be much better off if the guy would dump her and let her go and move on. She'd be much better off. That's the question. And the answer is like everything else. It's deep stuff. We're dealing with neshamos over here. Nothing is simple, okay? Basically the answer is like this. You said also something else that's going to help me in the answer. It's like almost she she she lets herself be abused. Okay. Our kips kids in pain who are trauma victims and who have symptoms of PTSD that show that they went through abuse and trauma, they're tzeebraken. Allow themselves to be abused. More than that they almost prefer and feel more comfortable in an abusive relationship than in a regular relationship. And therefore they put themselves in danger consistently. And then there's that kip mazel that somehow they end up with a job and the guy says, "Don't worry, you're not going to be the only one here. This is a busy office." And the girl comes and all of a

Jump to a moment

1. 0:01[music] >> So the question is that you have a daughter and you're doing Kipa and…
2. 1:36sudden it's just her and this is the shlub stupid boss guy. Or they get finally…
3. 3:115'9. He's 5'2. He stutters, pimples, he's poor. She's paying for him. It's like a princess.…
4. 5:16us that her self-esteem is tiny. Therefore, what do you think's going to happen the next…
5. 6:50So first of all, if he would go ahead and get hit by a bus, possible…
6. 8:51Compliment her. Com- You're so smart. You're so wonderful. You're so pretty. You're so good. He's…
7. 10:29so lucky." And she feels, "Wow, you really fully accept him who's her connection, means you…
8. 12:06middle of Borough Park. They took the couple of four of them went out. Going out…
9. 14:15down in the book, it's not clear if the Steipler said it or he said it,…
10. 15:52different shades of suicide. The only medicine, the only treatment method, the only thing that's powerful…

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