Unconditional Love vs. Conditional Love - A Parent's Struggle

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Amudim’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

And what I noticed real quickly, my children, this is the beauty of children, that they know us at times better than we even know ourselves. Yes. And my two oldest, the two, you know, two boys, like they picked up on my insecurity and they kept they kept like kind of like rubbing it in my face a little bit. And they were young. Yeah, they were Yeah, they were young. And they kept like like Yeah, I remember one of them got dressed and like he did his buttons wrong and he's like, "Aba, what do you think of this?" And I of course I just want to enjoy it and have a good time. But I found like my need for them to be a certain way was which is what we would call conditional love. That's what we would call it in that moment. It was a experience of conditional love. I needed them to be a certain way to quiet my own insecurities. And I placed attention upon them that they didn't deserve. They didn't need. And I think that we ultimately but it was coming from my myself. My own feelings of you know am I am I really good enough? Am I valuable enough? Will people see me in a

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1. 0:00And what I noticed real quickly, my children, this is the beauty of children, that they…
2. 0:32to be a certain way was which is what we would call conditional love. That's what…
3. 1:02regard that I'd like to be seen or will they see me as as a human…
4. 1:35place our children in such a position where they're uncomfortable with it. And obviously we've gone…
5. 2:07certain beliefs on them?" And I think the more we ask ourselves that question, the more…

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