Mesila Newlyeds Feb 23, 2021 R Yossi Bensoussan

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Yossi Bensoussan’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

that are married longer than me that have been married for you know a while and still these certain basic tenements of communication and marriage are lost on them they look at me like i'm crazy and when we discuss it and they put it into application they come back and they're like i don't understand i don't understand why why is everything different right now and i want to be clear here it's not me or my magic principles in marriage it's very simply putting our best foot forward fear is the number one reason why people don't do well financially fear of planning fear of being ready fear of talking about it fear of not spending fear of spending it fear is the number one reason that we run into problems with this and we have to remove that fear we know there's only one way to remove fear now the rambam says and in general we know this we don't like jumping to ends of spectrums no end of the spectrum no extreme is good it looks good from our extreme end so if i if i cannot sleep at night because i spent an extra three dollars somewhere that i shouldn't have spent if i can't sleep at night the the result for me or the good end for me is not to end up being extremely spent thrifty and and going around and spending all my money that's not that's not the dream the dream is to be balanced the dream is to develop a balance that's that's the concept i um many uh not many years ago a few years ago i was uh call it many i don't know at this point um i was taking a hypnosis course in in hypnosis and in something called conversational hypnosis and um which means uh being able to

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1. 0:00that are married longer than me that have been married for you know a while and…
2. 3:08fine whereas beforehand even if i saw a picture of a snake it would it would…
3. 6:53trust me you don't want to be him like i'd rather people be like like talking…
4. 10:08this crazy disadvantage the biggest problem with the disadvantage is that if you have a single…
5. 13:53understanding where the other one is coming from because i can guarantee you there is beauty…
6. 17:32don't spend that finally if we're actually instead of the reactionary explanation because it's a waste…
7. 20:42two very big results number one you have just taken the biggest step to financial freedom…
8. 24:22constant role in our life every minute we're spending every minute not in a bad way…
9. 27:32he was talking and he was speaking he was being interviewed by someone he said he's…
10. 31:43could have just went to and and would have been able to help us i cannot…

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