How to Not Let People Get to You

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Tzvi Sytner’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

insults could be so hurtful how do we learn to not get insulted here it is now there's the old saying sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me well guess what it's not true sticks and stones could break my bones and those bones will eventually heal but words words can't hurt you and that pain can last a lifetime you see this all the time you'll see in a marriage where time you'll see in a marriage where sometimes one of the spouses insults the other one then the other one says something back at me and so on they keep insulting each other worse and worse and worse until you see the marriage actually break starting to break apart right things start falling apart the relationship is damaged sometimes you see this in a business relationship you'll have two business partners one of them insults the other one and they feel bad the other one's sold to the other one and they feel bad and I shouldn't have said that but I already said it right and it hurts the relationship I've seen times when you have parents who won't go to their kids weddings because they're insulted by something their kid once said but it something their kid once said but it doesn't have to be that way just because insults can be hurtful it doesn't mean I have to be insulted there is a way to learn that when somebody insults me I don't have to react so intensely and doesn't have to affect me so much so how do we do it so here it is there's two types of value of self value there's either fluid value or intrinsic value fluid value means to say my value of myself changes based on what everybody

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00insults could be so hurtful how do we learn to not get insulted here it is…
2. 0:30time you'll see in a marriage where sometimes one of the spouses insults the other one…
3. 1:01something their kid once said but it doesn't have to be that way just because insults…
4. 1:33myself changes based on what everybody thinks as Charles Cooley once said he once said I'm…
5. 2:04what everybody thinks today regardless of your opinion doesn't change my value it's almost like you…
6. 2:34every single one of us has value our value is intrinsic value it's not fluid if…
7. 3:05life we have to make a pivotal decision in our lives do I have value do…
8. 3:35just remind yourself that's your opinion but it doesn't change my real value remember that I…

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