9216 DEEP Understanding of Kids in Crisis

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Avi Fishoff — TWiSTED Parenting’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

[Music] and with everything that we're doing we're still nowhere near the way that we would normally instinctively react if a child had a physical illness a child has physical illness we know we have one job spoil them be there for them you can't heal them that's the job of a doctor that's the job of the whatever and they may not make it they may make it they may not make it not up to you it comes to this suggest of the derek of drugs of depression anxiety the derek of drugs of depression anxiety all of a sudden people go ahead and they put the parents as if you're going to heal the kid don't give them money give them rules consequences boundaries and now instead of being the support of the child going through a hard time which we would naturally do we remove that support and we become part of the problem you can't fix their problem the only thing you can do is give them a mom and a dad and that actually helps them and by taking away a mom and a dad you're actually giving them an additional trauma they can't even deal with their trauma they can't even deal with their original pain and whatever is causing them hurt and dysfunction and it pushes them away there's not one way to win you don't gain physical spiritual emotional psychiatric nothing and yet that's the advice oh rules tough be tough be tough go ahead we have hundreds of parents who tried that valet also beyond them it didn't help because how could it help someone has a hole in their head and blood pouring out is rules going to help them not have blood pouring out is going to make a kid who's dysfunctional functional because you

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00[Music] and with everything that we're doing we're still nowhere near the way that we would…
2. 2:05influences and you lost out the only thing you could possibly do for your child to…
3. 4:39the father thinks there's two choices that he comes in his underwear or he comes dressed…
4. 7:15so what happens is with physical illness we would never dream of thinking that i'm supposed…
5. 9:49everything i learned they opened my eyes and and i'll tell you why it happened i'm…
6. 12:21in the name of tyra against the torah in the name of hashem against hashem hashem…
7. 14:28happy loving father and father-in-law that we never had i said no okay i'm very happy…
8. 17:01works reuben shalom it works if they if they would only come in the insurance company…
9. 19:33that's going to lead them down down down and they know it gets worse and worse…
10. 22:07dressing sneeze my father said if you go out like that i'm throwing you out of…

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