A question, not a speaker
The title here is a question, not a person: "Shidduchim — Mine or Hashem's?" This is a collection of shiurim built around one of the most searching issues in a young person's life — how much of finding a spouse depends on our own effort, and how much is already written by Hashem. Rather than a single lecturer's biography, it is a body of Torah organized around a theme, gathering perspectives that speak to singles, parents, and anyone helping to carry a shidduch forward.
The framing draws on the guidance of Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt"l, the Sar HaTorah of Bnei Brak, who was asked countless shailos on exactly these matters. His answers — brief, grounded, and rooted in Torah sources — anchor the collection's approach to the subject. The result is less a lecture series about a man and more a Torah conversation about a question every family eventually faces.
Hishtadlus and bitachon in shidduchim
At the heart of these shiurim is the tension between hishtadlus — the effort we are obligated to make — and bitachon, the trust that the outcome rests with Hashem. Shidduchim is the arena where that tension feels sharpest: one must act, make calls, go on dates, and yet believe that the right match is ultimately arranged from Above. The collection works through how the two hold together, so that effort does not curdle into anxiety and trust does not become an excuse for passivity.
Along the way the shiurim touch the emotional weight the process carries — the waiting, the disappointment, the fear of "missing" a bashert. Torah's answer is not to dismiss those feelings but to reframe them: a person is responsible for the doing, not for the result, and a match that is meant to be will not be lost by circumstances beyond one's control. For many listeners, that perspective is the relief they were looking for.
For singles, parents, and those who help
Because the subject touches so many roles, the collection speaks to more than one audience at once. A single hears a framework for staying steady through a long and often draining process. A parent hears how to support without smothering, and how to keep bitachon central at home. Even a friend or shadchan can take from it a clearer sense of how Torah wants this avodah approached — with real effort and real emunah, held in balance.
What makes the theme worth returning to is that it does not expire. Whether one is at the start of shidduchim or years in, the same questions recur, and the same Torah answers steady them. Leaning on the clarity of Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt"l, the shiurim offer not a formula but a footing — a way to face an uncertain process with both hands working and a heart at rest.
Finding kosher Torah video for your family
FilteredTube is a kosher video service built for Jewish families — every single video is approved against one written standard before it can appear, with no open feed, no comments, and no surprises. It is a calm, safe place to look for the Torah and Jewish music you love.
If your family enjoys Torah on shidduchim and bitachon, search FilteredTube for the speakers and topics that matter most to you. With a daf yomi shelf, a weekly parsha shelf, topic shelves, audio-only listening for the car, and a kids mode with a PIN, kosher Jewish video is easy to reach — and the approved catalog keeps growing every day.
At a glance
Key takeaways
- This is a topic collection on shidduchim, not a speaker named "Shidduchim."
- It works through the balance of hishtadlus (effort) and bitachon (trust) in finding a spouse.
- The approach draws on the guidance of Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt"l on these questions.
- The shiurim speak to singles, parents, and anyone helping carry a shidduch forward.
- Search FilteredTube for kosher, approved Torah video — the catalog grows every day.