Amazing Advice When Looking for a Spouse

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

There are certain things that should be discussed even before you start dating. You see, one of the problems that many of the young in our society have is burnout. They go out and they get burnt out. We don't We don't go out with the opposite sex for anything else than purpose of for anything else than purpose of matrimony. That's the Torah way of dating. The Torah way of dating is we're dating because we are looking to build a bayit ne'eman. Otherwise otherwise we don't spend time with the opposite sex. It's too dangerous. Now, if we date just haphazardly, then how many times could we put on our best face and be fresh and vivacious and full of vitality? We get burnt out. full of vitality? We get burnt out. So therefore, before we go out, we got to get basic questions. Number one. Is the young man able to in a rudimentary way, together with my resources, support a home? Because you don't want to start a life where you're right away going to be in a financial disaster. financial disaster. Financial disaster? When there's financial disaster, it says in the Gemara, "Kad nokish." When the uh cookie jar is empty, fights start in the home. I know saying "Give will I shalom" "Cheil of chitim yasbi'a." If there's in your borders peace, then when is that? When "Cheil of chitim yasbi'a." When there's enough food in the cupboard. So that's it. Unless the person is learning Torah

Jump to a moment

1. 0:02There are certain things that should be discussed even before you start dating. You see, one…
2. 0:32for anything else than purpose of matrimony. That's the Torah way of dating. The Torah way…
3. 1:04full of vitality? We get burnt out. So therefore, before we go out, we got to…
4. 1:34financial disaster. Financial disaster? When there's financial disaster, it says in the Gemara, "Kad nokish." When…
5. 2:04learning Torah and you want to support him in his learning and there's a plan, that's…
6. 2:36SHOULD BE BEFORE YOU GO OUT. IS THERE the religiosity that I want? How is the…
7. 3:06THIS SHOULD BE DISCUSSED BEFORE YOU GO OUT. Because do you want to risk that the…
8. 3:36have a child, you become much more spiritual. I see it with all my students. They…
9. 4:06children, they don't have a yetzer hara. They have a yetzer hara for themselves. They don't…
10. 4:37try to get as many things clear before you date. Like, for example, he already has…

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