Transmitting Values to Your Children!

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Shais Taub’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

Know what your values are and transmit them to your child so that they become your child's values. Not that your child should obey you when you tell them what to do. That doesn't mean that they actually have those values. But that your child on their own even if if no one were watching would know what the right choice to make is because you successfully transmitted your values to them and now those are your child's values. That is the goal. So let's talk about achieving the goal. When is the absolute worst time to teach a value? If you call somebody out on a misbehavior. People don't like to be called out. They don't like to be ashamed of what they've done. So there's this marvelous defense mechanism which Hashem gave the human mind called the power to rationalize. Where we come up with all sorts of smart excuses why what we did is not a problem at all. So you catch somebody, I told you how important it is never to lie. You must be honest and you just lied. So what happens? Either the kid says, I didn't lie, which is another lie. Or he says, no, it's okay to lie. Or if he's afraid of your reaction, he won't say it to you, but he'll think it to himself, ah, it's not a big deal. It's okay to lie. When when you just caught some I'm using lie as the example. It could be something else. It could be like, you know that it's important to be

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00Know what your values are and transmit them to your child so that they become your…
2. 1:01at all. So you catch somebody, I told you how important it is never to lie.…
3. 2:02kid violating that value is is a really poor time to teach it. And the second…
4. 3:02violating that value to remind you that value exists. So, if the only time they hear…
5. 4:03praying the afternoon prayer is something that you hold dear. He says, "Yes, yes, it is."…
6. 5:05with your co-parent of your top five values, top 10 values, those are the things you…
7. 6:06about and you care deeply about and the reason you care deeply about it is you…
8. 7:06up from their parent is one of two ways. Either like we were just talking about…
9. 8:09The way your children are going to pick up your values is no different than the…
10. 9:11where you can just schmooze. You can just talk. The things that you talk about, the…

Every second of this shiur plays inside Lehallel — a filtered YouTube library of Torah, music and shiurim. No ads, no comments, no autoplay.