If I Am Full of Shame, I Can’t Be Here for My Struggling Kids

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi YY Jacobson’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

from a place of empowerment from a place of emotional strength and health now every family every day community has different dynamics i don't have to tell you you can't compare benebrach to kiryat safer to other parts of jerusalem t-neck to englewood muncie to williamsburg borough park to lakewood and within each city itself and within each country itself there are so many different types of communities so when i speak about shame it doesn't come in one color or one shape in one color or one shape but i'm going to speak about it more in a generic fashion and if it relates to you in some way i hope you'll be able to apply it the concept of shame is we grow up and i'm not i'm this is not a so this is not social this is not about sociological judgmentalism at all it's just about the facts on the ground of how many of us handle our lives and our struggles very often there's a tremendous emphasis on fitting in being a success story being a success story in the orthodox religious community what does a success story look like a success story looks like you raise a beautiful family children who are froome children who learn torah who celebrate mitzvahs who love yiddish guys who are connected to their family who follow in the path of their parents and at the right time they we marry them off and we pray and hope to god that they continue that legacy and that tradition with their children and grandchildren whereas a rabbi once told me when i asked him what's your mission statement

Jump to a moment

1. 0:31from a place of empowerment from a place of emotional strength and health now every family…
2. 6:05embarrassed for your shul members you feel embarrassed for your brother-in-law you feel embarrassed for your…
3. 12:11and compassion these are part of being human and normal we are a channel for many…
4. 18:18and when redemptive consciousness needs to come into the world we need all of our issues…
5. 24:27not have a wonderful day i sacrifice my life so that you should have a good…
6. 30:43he's an honest person he has no place in the yeshiva anymore if he wouldn't be…
7. 36:50forgotten the song you love your child learn the song in your child's heart and when…
8. 43:02that's going to cause her not to be able to blame her parents for her problems…
9. 49:08work on yourself what type of person are you have you worked out your own toxicity…
10. 55:21find to be a necessary tool for at least most people yes yes yes it's a…

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