The Art of Praising Children: The Real Way to get Praise to Regsiter in the Mind of a Child

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Yisroel Roll’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

tonight's topic on resilient parenting is the topic of the art of praise it is not so simple to say to a child you're great you're fabulous you're fantastic you're beautiful you're wonderful because oftentimes a child doesn't believe does not believe that that praise is sincere why should we praise children anyway one parent said to me you know when my child turned down the music i was always after him to turn down the music and one day he did i didn't praise him because that's what he's supposed to do why should i praise a child who's doing what they're supposed to do i don't get praised for going to work i don't get valued by my family for bringing in an income i don't get praised for putting out dinner on time i do what i was supposed to do shouldn't we get rid of the idea of praise and train the child to do what they're supposed to do same thing with giving tickets or prizes for good behavior why should i give children tickets for brushing their teeth or doing the right thing or encouraging to do the right thing when they're supposed to do the right thing in the first place aren't i just making them dependent on praise or dependent on tickets to do the right thing now we grew up when we grew up we have different parenting styles that parents treated us with one client of mine said my father never said to me he loved me he wasn't that type of person he wasn't a gregarious outgoing demonstrative person he couldn't bring himself to say i love you i asked that client how did his father treat him his father never told him i love you and they had a very strained

Jump to a moment

1. 0:01tonight's topic on resilient parenting is the topic of the art of praise it is not…
2. 2:42and i was afraid i was going to get a swelled head but i didn't you…
3. 5:18teenagers are very sophisticated they know when praise is real and when praise is not and…
4. 7:58effective way of praise or the type of praise which is going to hit home is…
5. 10:41and it's not going to be felt instructed the correct approach in that case was the…
6. 14:00themselves an identity by virtue of what's called reflected appraisals the parent reflects an appraisal of…
7. 16:42because the child will not trust the parent and not be able to open up to…
8. 19:24perhaps adding a little bit of a praise or validation by saying that's dependable that's a…
9. 22:03whether it's spouses and level two is information and level three should be used only when…
10. 24:45for us these general overviews of how to express appreciation to your teenager go ahead devin…

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