The #9 Commandment of Dating: Don’t Ignore Red and Yellow Flags - Rabbi Eli Deutsch

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Hidabroot - Torah & Judaism’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

Don't look away when they show you who they are. Welcome back to the 10 Commandments of Dating. This is commandment number nine. Thou shalt not ignore red and yellow flags. Let's understand the difference. Red is a flag that is for sure a problem. Run for the hills. Yellow is a flag that's cause for pause. Could be something that's an issue, but could also be resolved. So, let's jump into it. The first flag for today is someone who does not take responsibility for their reactions or responsibility for their reactions or their responses. That means maybe they did something wrong, but whatever the reaction is, they dump it onto you. They put it onto your head. They make like they are not responsible for their reactions because you were the initial perpetrator. Another flag, a man who doesn't take financial responsibility. Doesn't have to be making the money, but he should feel like if something's needed financially, that's on his shoulders. Someone you have to save. Do you have knight in shining armor syndrome? Typical male problem. Are you looking at the guy as a fixer-upper?

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00Don't look away when they show you who they are. Welcome back to the 10 Commandments…
2. 0:31responsibility for their reactions or their responses. That means maybe they did something wrong, but whatever…
3. 1:03looking at the guy as a fixer-upper? Typical female problem. Both of these are unhealthy aspects…
4. 1:33dynamic that does show up, but this is going to follow in the relationship and make…
5. 2:04traits or the people around them, family, friends, also joke about his or her bad traits.…
6. 2:34you want to see it? Or are you desperate to not see it? Is there a…

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