The Yanuka Rav Shlomo Yehuda-שאלות ותשובות בהלכה ובהשקפה עם הגאון הינוקא מוצאי יו＂ט ראשון של סוכות תשפ＂ו

3:03 things like that — unless the person is ill. Even an ill person who is not in danger — not an ill person who is in danger, an ill person who is not in danger: a person who has taken to his bed, a person who is weak, a person who has a headache and needs to be in bed — such a person can pray, because he is ill, it's understood that he is ill, so there's no problem. But a person who is healthy — why, what, for what reason would we come and permit him to pray without shoes? What?

3:35 What's that? First of all, that is because of their kedushah. The Kohanim — their level is from the side of kedushah. The Kohanim, the raising of the hands in blessing, the kedushah of the Kohanim, the blessing that they draw down for us — it is, as it were, 'Remove your shoes from your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground.' The level is much higher, and it is from the side of kedushah and the resting of the Shechinah that dwells upon them at the time that they bless. In Tractate Chullin, on page 49, the Gemara says that the Kohanim bless Israel.

4:07 And who blesses the Kohanim? The Holy One, blessed be He. The Shechinah rests upon the hands of the Kohanim, and therefore today we do not look at the hands of the Kohanim at the time of the blessing — but that is only in remembrance of the Beis HaMikdash, the Holy Temple. So the Kohanim have a level of kedushah, a level of purity that is far more complete, they are forbidden to become impure through the dead, and they must purify themselves and purify their hands when they raise their hands in blessing — but that is a completely different law. Today we are not in that place; today we are in derech eretz among avreichim, among people, among scholars, among rabbis, among important people, ministers, the supermarket, the grocery store, shopping.

4:43 If a person behaves in a strange way, people will behave toward him accordingly, they won't value him, they'll look down on him, and this can cause shame, and in the end also harm to his relatives. Let's talk about the fact that his son may be ashamed. Yes, it can also create lashon hara, but beyond that, too — people will see that person walking without shoes and say, 'Look at that person, how he behaves,' his son may laugh at him, the children, the wife — or even, if he doesn't have a shidduch, it can keep him from finding a shidduch, because they'll say that he is a crazy man.

5:25 Today we see that a person who goes around in such a way does not look like a normal person. I know many people like this, and they are wise and understanding and have a very fine mind — but I know him. I would vouch for him, that he's a good person and has sense. But now someone else will see him from the outside. Today we judge right away by appearance.

5:49 Now, I can tell you further that already back in the time of Shmuel the Prophet, when he came to anoint David as king, he asked, 'Are these all the lads?' Of course, at first he thought that Eliav was fit to be king, because he saw — 'Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature.' The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: Do not look at his appearance. The Holy One, blessed be He, did not choose him as king. But if you look at this and you say — even back then they would look at appearance, that it is impressive.

6:18 'Listen, he's tall, he has the ability to be a king, he's impressive, it suits him.' But suddenly you come and look and see — listen, this man walks around without shoes, right away people judge that he is a crazy person. And this person is not crazy at all; he is a completely sane person. Therefore I say: there is no need to multiply puzzling things among the Jewish people and to behave in a puzzling way; increase peace as much as possible, good things, happy things, and today, if you want, there are — there are special shoes that are almost without a sole.

6:58 A kind, there are all kinds of special shoes for people like this, and you can put them on and you'll look normal, and on the other hand you are walking without shoes. On the contrary, there were tzaddikim — Rabbi Chaim Mordechai of Nadvorna would put gravel inside his shoes, and so he would, as it were, suffer afflictions. So you see, there were tzaddikim who walked like that, in such a way. - How do I deal with thoughts of arrogance, when I also want to work on self-confidence? It's very hard, this contradiction, like — I can aspire to something very high, and together with that feel that I have nothing, and basically, together...

7:35 - No, I didn't manage to understand, sir. As a question. - How not to feel thoughts of arrogance, that I'm, like, raised up above people, when I also want to work, together with that, on self-confidence? I have strengths, that I can go up high, that I can really aspire to very, very great things, and there's a contradiction, like, in... - That's a very fine question, what you are saying. You'll be surprised by the answer I'm going to give you.

8:03 The answer divides into several parts. One part — You know what? I'll explain it to you like this. There are types — He asked — have you heard the questions and the answers until now? You heard. He asks: on the one hand, a person needs self-confidence.

8:30 You see? Self-confidence — to strengthen it. On the other hand, 'One of haughty eyes and a proud heart — him I cannot bear.' What? On the one hand — either to be arrogant, or to have self-confidence. Now, like this — the answer is as follows. If there is a person who falls a great deal into melancholy, into sadness, into despair, he has many thoughts like these that trouble him, he has no joy in himself, he doesn't feel satisfaction, he feels that he isn't managing to fulfill himself.

9:00 A person like that — he has no problem with arrogance. Let him put arrogance into himself, as much as he wants. It doesn't apply to him, it won't harm him. Let him strengthen himself, let him encourage himself, let him think that he is worth the most — only so that he will have hope, and let him just make a declaration, a statement of his intent. And that, too, is not called arrogance. When is it called arrogance? When is it called arrogance? What's that?

9:27 A declaration, a statement of intent — he makes his intent known, that he does not mean to be arrogant. He has no arrogance at all, and all thoughts of arrogance — he rejects them. He means only to strengthen himself in the service of Hashem and fear of Heaven. Now, a person like that — there are many particular cases where people, you know, reach a state, today in our generation, of thoughts — the most far-gone ones, of not wanting to live.

9:55 And I'll tell you that I come across these cases a great deal, even on the eve of the festival — yesterday morning, you were with me, right? You heard the case — a person came, his uncle came with him, and said that he had booked an injection — a young man of thirty-something — booked an injection in Switzerland, a lethal injection. Booked an injection. The person — he has no problems; he only has some kind of particular pain, and something in life that he can't cope with, and he booked a lethal injection.

10:27 You were with me on the day... You were there, you saw it. Now... Of course — what does it count as? What does it count as — going to sleep? He had already paid for the injection, he had set a date for the injection, it was supposed to be in another two months, as I understood. He set that date, and his uncle came with him from abroad. They prayed with us at Shacharis, at netz. He said to me, 'What can be done?'

10:53 So you were with us in the conversation, and I strengthened him. I gave him encouragement. I told him: I will promise him that he will have salvation, and he will promise me that he is cancelling the... I told him: I promise — first you promise. You promise that you are cancelling it, give a promise, and with Hashem's help you will have salvation. I trust in the Holy One, blessed be He, that He will give it to him. The King does everything.

11:19 As it is, the Holy One, blessed be He, does miracles every day. It is possible to help one more Jew like this. And he promised that he would cancel that injection. He left strengthened, encouraged, with hope, with joy. We even said together, 'Give thanks to Hashem, for He is good, for His kindness endures forever.' 'For His kindness endures forever' — if you remember. So it made me happy that I saved a Jew. And I'll tell you — many times I save many people from cases like these, I receive many letters, a great many letters — I can't manage to answer them all, I receive many letters about broken people, many times children of fifteen write me letters that are very hard.

11:58 I had a letter that a girl of sixteen wrote, something like that, from some school — I don't know whether in Israel or abroad — she wrote a shocking letter, that the poor girl, she has — she suffers from a kind of — her appearance is somewhat very unusual, as she writes it, and they laugh at her at school, and the teachers, like, tell the children, 'Be quiet,' and 'Stop,' and so on, but every time she feels that they are, like, fawning over her, and on the contrary, it shames her more that the children laugh at her, that she suffers from a certain appearance that very much humiliates her and pains her, that they wanted to do stomach-reduction surgery on her.

12:53 I do not recommend these surgeries at all; it is a dangerous thing, it is forbidden to go into surgeries. One does not go into the hands of the doctors, no matter what. It is a very dangerous thing. Only when an expert professor says that there is a great medical need and danger, really to the person's life — then it is possible, but not for nothing. And first of all, of course, I tried to have this stomach-reduction surgery given up, and to find other ways.

13:23 But of course I tried to give strength in all kinds of ways, with strengthening and encouragement. And I say: this is one case — who knows how many there are. There are broken children like this, who are laughed at. See, sometimes, what human beings — not the yetzer hara, not thoughts of arrogance, and not what you are saying, self-confidence — what human beings can do to a small child, and a girl of fifteen at school?

13:49 So I say: today, on the contrary, if a person can strengthen himself in self-confidence, let him strengthen himself; it is not connected to arrogance. There is no connection between the concepts — I'll explain to you. Let's explain to you what arrogance is, all right? Arrogance — let's take as an example arrogance over the fact that I am now a learned philosopher, all right? I am a learned philosopher, I teach at a university. Now, when does arrogance apply?

14:14 When a person has either some reward from the thing he explains, or, for instance — I'll give you another example, easier to understand. A singer. Let's take a singer. A singer is the simplest example, one that everyone can understand. I am a great, talented singer, I sing, everyone listens to my songs, what beautiful songs; I fill halls, everyone comes to hear my singing, I sing and make music.

14:41 Now, whoever hears my singing — I say, 'Look, I'm a good singer.' I see some other singer, I say, 'Ah, he doesn't sing like me.' When does arrogance show itself more? When you compare someone to yourself. As long as you are there saying, 'I sing beautifully, many people love my singing' — that is not called arrogance. When does arrogance show itself more, when it is more harmful and more forbidden?

15:06 When you begin to despise and belittle your fellow. That is to say: 'What is he? Who is this singer? I am much more than him — he is nothing. Why did he fill more than I did? How can it be that many more came to his singing? It's not right.' Here arrogance begins. Arrogance already begins to lead you to jealousy, arrogance leads you to hatred, arrogance leads you to lashon hara; arrogance already gives birth to such offshoots, which are called jealousy, hatred, rivalry — that is real arrogance.

15:39 But arrogance where you now sit and say, 'Yes, I sing beautifully. I've filled a few halls, baruch Hashem' — that is called arrogance between you and G-d. Here? No. I'll explain. No, no. I'll explain to you. Listen, there is something you need to understand. There is a distinction within arrogance. In all the mitzvos and in all the transgressions there is always between man and G-d, and between man and his fellow.

16:07 The concept of arrogance, too, divides into between man and G-d, and between man and his fellow. When is it severe and dangerous? When it is between man and his fellow. When is it less dangerous? When it is between man and G-d. Or, if you like, let's give an example of between man and G-d, and you'll also see how much the Holy One, blessed be He, forgives it. When it is between man and G-d, these are fine points that will already begin to be measured according to who you will be, all right? The more you rise to a greater level, then you — your judgment will be different.

16:37 And it is like in Tractate Horayos, that a Nasi — we have the bull for a matter that was hidden, which comes through the Kohen Gadol, or a he-goat for a person who is at the rank of importance of a Nasi, like a king and such things; there is — the offering changes according to the kind of standing of the person who sinned and must bring the offering. The simple poor person has nothing to bring, he brings a korban oleh v'yored, a sliding-scale offering, a turtledove or a young dove as a sin-offering, right?

17:02 His level is lower, his level is lower — he brings an offering according to it. Your level rises — you are a Kohen, you are a greater person — so too is your judgment, so too the laws, so too the judgments that the Torah commanded, upon a king, upon a Nasi, upon everyone who has a much higher level — a prophet who prophesies, all these ways are far, far greater things. The more we rise, it rises — but it becomes between man and the Creator.

17:30 Now, when I come to explain what happens with a person, as he wants — a certain singer who sings and makes music — so he — as long as you don't fall into between man and his fellow, where you know that now there is another singer, who has a hall that he fills more than you do. You fill a thousand places; that singer fills two thousand seats. Now, if you say, 'Listen, he also sings very beautifully; I'm very fond of his singing.

18:00 How lovely — may you succeed. But I'm happy that a thousand people come to me. I'm happy with that, and I take pride that I filled a thousand seats. There's someone who can't fill a hundred' — in such a case, 'and his heart was lifted up in the ways of Hashem.' Well done, carry on. I bless you — may you succeed in filling them. Let's move forward. That does no harm. When you say, 'Wait — he filled two thousand? I filled a thousand. I sing better than him.

18:24 He doesn't sing beautifully at all. Where does he know how to sing from? Who taught him to sing? Who is he? What is he?' I start busying myself with him — my busying myself with him — then I have already fallen altogether into rivalry. The moment arrogance gives birth to offspring, that is the arrogance about which we were warned by the Sages, to beware of it. In Tractate Sotah, on page 4: one who is arrogant is like one who transgressed all the forbidden relations. In Tractate Sotah, on page 10, where the Gemara says that any person who sets his eyes on what is not his — there they learned it from the serpent, who set his eyes. On whom did he set his eyes? On Chavah.

18:57 In the end, you set your eyes on what is not yours, and not only does the person not receive what he set his eyes on, what is his is also taken from him, Heaven forbid. Meaning, that is to say: if you don't value what you have, then not only is what you... it is much more dangerous. So that is called arrogance that is forbidden — where this arrogance already causes a person to also begin setting his eyes on what he does not have.

19:21 That is, from his arrogance he already comes to jealousy. If a person says, 'Nothing is owed to me, and I am not worthy of anything, nothing here in the world belongs to me, I am a guest. Thank You very much, this is what Hashem gave me, this is what is due to me, this is my IQ, this is my mind, this is my knowledge, this is my life, this is how Hashem created me, this is how He determined for me, this is how He gave to me, and this is the rich man who is happy with his lot, this is what I can do, this is what I am, I am happy with it, this is what Hashem gave me, and I am the happiest in the world, this is what Hashem chose to give me, such and such in my life.

19:57 I am happy' — if, out of that, I want to lift myself up and take pride, so that I will have 'and his heart was lifted up in the ways of Hashem,' that is a blessed thing. Why think that it is not a good thing? - Won't it cause something between a person and his fellow — I'm better, I learn much more Torah than the other, so it's very hard to feel that I'm, like, over against him... - The opposite, on the contrary: as long as you are not acting against him, there is no problem. When is there a problem?

20:22 When you, like, say, 'I understand, he doesn't understand. I understand, this isn't right.' Who appointed you? Here the Holy One, blessed be He, always leaves — always know this rule. The Holy One, blessed be He, will never be with one who is arrogant. Never — He cannot be with him. The moment you think that you are the truth — be now one against the whole world, be one against the whole world, or the reverse, the whole world with you and you against one — you think you are the truth, you think you are the one who is right, and you are arrogant over everyone — the Holy One, blessed be He, is already not with you.

20:53 Arrogance—the Holy One, blessed be He, does not love it. It makes no difference; this is so from the beginning of Creation. The Holy One, blessed be He, does not love the outlook and the judgment of a person who behaves in this way. Now, if you come and you look and you say, very simply, 'I want to strengthen my friend; if only it were in my power to give him strength and encouragement'— may blessing come upon you. But sometimes we distort the concepts, and we can come to understand that we are not within these concepts at all. I will give you an example.

21:23 We have, for example, a very clear example of humility, all right? We have humility, and we have lowliness. There is a difference of heaven and earth between humility and lowliness. Very dangerous, tzaddik. Oy, oy, oy—don't do that. Tzaddik. Come, come. Come in.

21:50 I cannot speak like this. Tzaddik. Come, come, please, come in. 'You shall guard your souls very carefully.' The last halachah in Choshen Mishpat, in the Shulchan Aruch, is 'You shall make a railing for your roof.' That is the last halachah; that is how it concludes in the Shulchan Aruch: to make a railing. There is nothing more important than this.

22:15 Many people are sometimes not careful. One must be very careful about this: not to climb over a railing, not to do dangerous things. It is very dangerous. One can find the ways, and not do them in a dangerous manner. - Weren't we told that humility is very hard? Humility is when we have something to take pride in. Today, which of us has anything to take pride in? - Right, right. Now I will explain something.

22:45 There is humility and there is lowliness—they are different things. I will give you an example. Where does it show itself? Humility is when a person has something to take pride in and he does not take pride; and lowliness is when he has nothing to take pride in and he chooses to take pride. Like, for example, there is a singer— his voice is not so beautiful; he is a likable singer, he is not a singer whose voice... Say I now take hold of a microphone and I now begin to sing, and everyone tells me, 'Wow, listen, what a singer you are!'

23:13 I know that I do not sing beautifully and I am no singer, and now I begin to take pride in how I trill and do... Now what will you tell me? You will tell me, 'Listen, Rav, what are you taking pride in? Be lowly. You are not a singer at all, you did not learn voice training, you do not have a beautiful voice, you are not...' 'What, now you have become a singer on me?' I do not have the beautiful voice of a singer. A singer has a voice like this—oh, oh, that is beautiful.

23:38 I do not have that voice. 'So what are you taking pride in now?' 'What does arrogance have to do with you? What are you telling me?' 'Be lowly.' 'Do not be arrogant; be lowly. You cannot say, "I am humble."' 'Say, "I am lowly; I am not of those dimensions."' That is to say, lowliness applies when you have nothing to take pride in. You need to be lowly. But when a person has something to take pride in— he is truly a singer; everyone in the world says, 'Listen, his voice is the most beautiful; how beautifully he sings!'— you say to that person: 'You are not lowly; you—be humble.'

24:10 But if that same person reaches such a level, such a level that he is not even humble—he says to himself, 'This voice too, I know that it is Hashem,' and he is utterly nullified before the Holy One, blessed be He, and he is able to turn his humility into lowliness— that is the highest there is. And sometimes this too is the service of Hashem: sometimes there is a level of humility, but there is also a level of lowliness, where you need to reach such a level that you attribute nothing to yourself, not in Torah—nothing, nothing.

24:40 Everything is the Holy One, blessed be He. So you too go down from humility to the level of lowliness. That is to say: I do not hold myself even as humble. As in: to call me 'humble' is still arrogance. I am altogether in lowliness; I take no credit for myself—nothing. So one needs to be in lowliness, not even in humility. That is my view; I always hold of lowliness. But you, baruch Hashem, stay with [unclear]—everything is fine.

25:05 You see the [unclear], the sefer. Right? That is the melachah of mavrich—what Rabbeinu Chananel writes. Mavrich is grafting. - The Rav speaks a lot about stopping smoking. He wants to stop smoking, but what does the Rav say about smoking? Is it better to stop all at once? - Honored Rav, if I may ask: does a person [unclear]? - Ah, you are asking a question. Ask, ask, and I will answer him and you. - I am asking: is a person always obligated to forgive his fellow for every wrong that was done to him, and is he also obligated to love him?

25:37 Or are there things of which one can say [unclear]? - Look, what you say is very true, and it is also a very hard thing to forgive someone who sinned against you. Mechilah and forgiveness— that is a very high level, yes? One moment—I will answer him for a second and I am coming back to you in a second. Remind me what you—what was it before?

26:04 Ah, about cigarettes, yes—listen. About cigarettes, in my opinion, the whole reason it was permitted today as halachah is a responsum of the Gaon Rav Moshe Feinstein on this. - [unclear] nothing about arrogance? I saw, about a person, as regards arrogance, and how a person really [unclear] So our world—this is something that we [unclear], but...

26:33 - So I will answer that. All right, I will answer that. I did not know that... Fine, I will answer your question, and his, and his, all right. What is that? Yes. Now, about cigarettes—right now I am speaking—there are cigarettes. The whole reason that cigarettes are permitted today from the standpoint of halachah is only because their harm is by grama, indirect causation. What does that mean? It is a thing that harms after a time.

26:58 I have no clear proof that the cigarette harms me now; it harms later on—that is, years after the cigarette. A person lives after one cigarette. Only when does harm come about? When over time it accumulates, so that it can develop illnesses. Therefore the reason they say it is permitted is because it is harm by grama; harm by grama is not— although in the Responsa of the Geonim, that every thing a person—even a person who, Heaven forbid, eats foods, things that are not healthy— for that too he will give an accounting.

27:29 Any person at all—'You shall guard your souls'— that is with foods too, with unhealthy drinks. Cola too is not healthy; all kinds of carbonated drinks with food additives too—these are things that are not healthy, and still, in any case, we drink them. But why? Because they say that in cola too there is a component that is healthy for digestion, and there are those—one who has nausea can drink a little cola and it will do him good. You say: everything that you eat and drink, in moderation. The Rambam, in Hilchos De'os, chapter 4—the Rambam truly gives us the outlook and the guidance on how to live, what to eat, in a gentle way, although things change very, very much in their natures. In the Responsa of the Geonim, in siman 123, there is the outlook on how different it is, with the natures that have changed for us today,

28:15 that these are not at all the same natures as what we find ourselves in today, although in the Chazon Ish, in the laws of tereifos, in the simanim— in the words of the Chazon Ish one sees that, as it were, it did not appear so to him— he did not hold like the Geonim, but he holds that still, everything the Sages revealed in the Shas, one must still be concerned for it and be careful with it— although according to the Geonim, a thing that has not yet been made explicit— if we see explicitly that the natures have changed regarding it, we will have to go and rely on that—like the measure of a kezayis and a kebeitzah, and such things that change; it is still not like the measure of the Sages in their time, what it was. And in Tractate Pesachim, page 107, with the date beer—and today we do not have the same, we do not have today,

28:58 we do not have at all the same—those same things, in order to judge and to learn the same thing from them. So a person who wants to smoke is doing himself harm after a time, because things change very much, and we do not know. If there comes today a professor who proves that with the first cigarette a person puts into his body immediate harm comes about, then from the standpoint of the Torah it is forbidden to smoke, immediately.

29:23 Why? There is in it 'You shall guard your souls.' It is no longer harm by grama; it is immediate harm. But because the harm is always after a time, and the possibility of being in danger is after a time, that is the reason they say it is permitted. But today—I explain this to everyone— one must be careful of this too, and withdraw from it gently, slowly, slowly, slowly, not quickly. Anything that you do quickly—in the end you fall.

29:51 There is someone who wants to get up for neitz, sunrise, right away; he is used to getting up at twelve. He gets up at noon; for him, getting up at noon—that is neitz [unclear]. He wants to pray—you want to get up at neitz? Get up at neitz, but take care: begin to pray twice a week at neitz. Twice a week at neitz, slowly, slowly. Get up three times; slowly add—every week add a day. You want to stop with the cigarette?

30:16 How much do you smoke? First of all, cut it in half; instead of— one always cuts in half, when you want to stop something. Take off half. First of all, the exertion—half the effort. 'Half for Hashem, half for you.' There is always blessing in half, in the effort; always make half the effort, and from that half begin to bring down the half, slowly, gradually. You will stop in the surest way. There is someone who wants to get up at chatzos, midnight— he wants to get up at chatzos; he does not have to be awake all night. If he is awake all night he will always be asleep; he does not need to contend with that. But if he says to himself, 'Listen, 'I am now going to get up, every day, another hour—every week another hour, adding'—anything that is gradual

30:56 is a sure thing, that takes hold. The moment you come in a manner— regarding things that are harm by grama. Anything that is a severe prohibition and harms on the spot—one must withdraw from it immediately. - What is grama? It is not only that it takes time; it is what it... is that grama? If I burn something and it would take a week to burn, is that grama? - I will explain to you why. Because look, there are studies— I will not go into it now, yes? It depends on what the doctor says, all right? There are studies, and there are, as it were, people of whom one sees that cigarettes did not harm them.

31:24 What will you say about that? What about Rav Kaduri? Rav Kaduri smoked many cigarettes, he passed away at a very advanced age, and cigarettes did not harm him. Yes, [unclear] the Ben Ish Chai. But still, we need to come and say that one must look into these things. What did you ask? What did you say? - If I had a patient who says that two hours before surgery he smoked a cigarette, he is told that there are things that are not normal, like a patient... - Ah, your honor is a doctor?

32:05 Your honor is a doctor? - An anesthesiologist. - Ah, an anesthesiologist. I am a doctor who wakes people up. Here, we have a doctor here—did you hear? We have an anesthesiologist here. By the way, to be an anesthesiologist is a very, very, very great role. Your honor is surely a very high-level doctor, very wise.

32:30 As you know, it is a very dangerous thing; one must know the dosage and the timing and the monitoring of the patient. It is very, very much no joke; it takes much intelligence and wisdom, because it can really kill, these things—anesthesia. Is it not dangerous? - [unclear] - Right, [unclear] a cigarette—that if a patient took a cigarette two hours before the anesthesia, he says that it is harm [unclear], so he is not willing to anesthetize him. - No, I am saying that the risk is very high. - Good, pay attention: so here we have testimony from a doctor who tells us that if a person smokes two hours before surgery, he is not willing to anesthetize him, because he says there is a very, very high risk that the surgery will cause... the surgery or the anesthesia can cause danger to the patient.

33:48 It does not matter, but the moment there is—the moment it enters— It does not matter, but... And if, Heaven forbid, an accident happens to him and they need to anesthetize him? And if he loses consciousness half an hour after he smoked? Do you want to make a minyan here for the second day of Yom Tov?

34:13 You can make a minyan for the second day of Yom Tov. A minyan for the second day of Yom Tov—you can make it here. Whoever needs to make a minyan for the second day of Yom Tov—like every time, there is one at the side; they make it here at the side. A minyan for the second day of Yom Tov. Yes, yes, now I am answering. Good, so you understood the answer, tzaddik? [unclear] on a good path. And I am coming—I am getting to you.

34:45 Dangerous—right. For that one needs to consult a doctor, to consult and to check; to check—these are things that need checking, and it needs further discussion; it is not so much— in a place like this. All right, at an opportunity we will speak about it. It needs medical follow-up, and to check it and to look, because there are things that are also many years— the new things; of course, this corona vaccine—everyone sees that it is dangerous, and already today one sees it. So it is very dangerous; but with everything that is new, one must be careful.

35:20 What was that? Yes. [unclear] Now I am with your honor. Heaven forbid. Heaven forbid. With Hashem's help, may she live and have length of days, and everything will work out for the good. We will think only good, and be in joy. May she have a complete recovery from Heaven, and may you come to bring us good tidings.

35:47 Amen. Now, so you—look, we have, on the one hand, the importance—I am getting to you— we have, on the one hand, the importance of being truthful with the Holy One, blessed be He. Whoever truly pays attention to the point of the question you raised: when do we run into this problem? Twice a day. Once in the morning, in the Shacharis prayer: 'I hereby love every one of the Children of Israel as my own soul and my might.'

36:15 And once more—in siman 239—in the Shema said at bedtime, when I go to sleep. I go to sleep, I say, 'Blessed is He Who casts the bonds of sleep upon my eyes and slumber upon my eyelids,' and I go to sleep; I fall asleep. Before I go to sleep, I do an act that is very important, which is called 'I hereby forgive and pardon.' That is to say: 'Master of the world, I hereby forgive and pardon everyone who angered and provoked me.'

36:43 You say: how can this be? In the morning I said that I love everyone. In the evening, before I go to sleep, I forgive and pardon. We have a problem here. Who said that in the morning you truly love everyone? And the second thing: in the evening, who forces me to say that I forgive everyone? So indeed, Rabbi Avraham Chamui, in his sefer Yemalet Nafsho— he was one of the greatest of the Sages, of the kabbalists, of the poskim; he was a very great man, a tzaddik and a sage— who wrote, indeed, that one of the things a person needs to do in such a case is to turn this wording into the wording of 'May it be Your will.'

37:27 What does that mean? That in the morning you say: 'May it be Your will that I love every one of the Children of Israel as my own soul and my might,' and then I am out of it—I do not need to say that wording. Why? Because if I do not love every one of the Jewish people, it turns out that I am—'He who speaks lies shall not be established before My eyes.' I am speaking a lie before Hashem. So how do I say, 'I hereby love everyone'? So that is why he made this remark, and this remark is truly a wonderful remark that he made.

37:55 Therefore, in such a case, say: 'May it be Your will that I love every one of the Children of Israel'—that is in the morning. In the evening, when you have difficulty forgiving certain people— the brother did something very hard to me, the uncle hurt me, the grandfather, or the relative, or someone from the synagogue, or the colleague at work harmed me, hurt me, caused me pain.

38:21 By the way, also—just so you know—very, very, very many of the troubles that people have through the generations— and sometimes it can harm the person and his children and his grandchildren, and the Holy One, blessed be He, takes vengeance—it is for bloodshed, for shaming, for bloodshed, for pain that is caused to people. So it is a very, very dangerous thing.

38:46 And a person is also not obligated to forgive. It is a measure of piety to forgive; but if a person feels here that he cannot forgive— and also, if you come to a person, you say to him, 'Listen, I sinned against you; forgive me, forgive me,' and you force him to forgive you, and he says, 'Yes, you are forgiven, you are forgiven'—you only want him to say that word— and in his heart he does not forgive you: there is nothing in it. There are those who do harm in shidduchim: he harms a shidduch, brings down this shidduch, brings down that shidduch, does harm, and then he says, 'Say that you forgive me, so that there be no kepeida, no grievance, upon me; just say it—write for me that you forgive.'

39:22 This thing is foolishness, you should know. There is nothing in it. The letter is void; the words 'you are forgiven, you are forgiven'—void. There is nothing in it. Mechilah must come from the depths of the heart. If you did not appease him in such a way that he, truly from the heart, forgave you and said to you, 'You are forgiven,' you have no mechilah at all. Not mechilah as lip service, not mechilah by letter, not mechilah through an emissary—these are void things, and it is simply foolishness that a person could think it stands.

40:01 Right? Right? To our sorrow. In Tractate Bava Metzia, page 59, you see the prohibition, in its severity, of ona'as devarim, wronging with words. There is a person who leads you astray, fools you, all the time tells you things like this, like this, like this. Ona'as devarim—he fools you.

40:27 Now, you say: on the first day, on the second day, for a week, a month, he goes along with you, leading you astray. You say, 'Enough, I cannot be with this person.' 'I do not want to be with him, I do not want to—what connection do I have with him?' 'He is simply fooling me; what do I have to do with this person?' So a person like that— if you tell him, 'I forgive you,' he will go on leading you astray; he has a problem of the psyche.

40:52 There are people who are not so sane, so you cannot now come and say, 'I do not forgive'—you, baruch Hashem, tzaddik, forgive, because you are a reasonable person. But there are things that are not reasonable, or there are people who do not behave properly, and sometimes, if a person does not put him in his place, he will go on doing harm to many people. Because they will say, 'We will do harm, and then he will forgive me; we will do harm'— like with the Holy One, blessed be He: 'I will sin and repent, I will sin and repent'— 'he is not given the means to do teshuvah.'

41:19 In the end, the person will not come to do teshuvah, because it will be allowed him. And therefore, what is worth saying: 'May it be Your will, Master of the world— may it be Your will that You put it in my heart to forgive and pardon everyone who sinned against me, and to forgive and pardon him—put it in my heart to forgive— and put it in their hearts that all those I sinned against, in this gilgul and in previous gilgulim, forgive me.' Both you are to ask and he is to ask. But that is, for example, one type of people.

41:49 But of course, if there is another way— there are a great many ways in which people today behave in a distorted and corrupted and depraved manner. If you come and tell him, 'Fine, listen, never mind, nothing happened,' he will go on doing it—much harm to many people. He needs to appease you in some way, so that mechilah will come to be. Otherwise, what have we done? There is no end to the matter. [unclear] It is fitting that a person be forgiving and pardoning, and not bear a grievance, and let his due pass, like Rabbi Akiva.

42:22 But we are not speaking of cases like these, where the person suffered damage and pain and humiliation, and sits at home; and someone came, the colleague at work, and threw him out of his job; because of him he sits unemployed at home and has no work and has nowhere to earn a living. A young woman whose shidduch was brought down—they disgraced her, humiliated her— and they are hurt. What will you tell him? 'You are forgiven, you are forgiven, you are forgiven, you are forgiven'? He cannot forgive; he is hurt. What do you want? It is not... the heart— the Holy One, blessed be He, made it so that feelings are something that cannot be denied.

42:54 You cannot come and say to a person, '"You are forgiven, you are forgiven"—forgive me, forgive me, forgive me, pardon me'—you are almost forcing him. He does not forgive you. No, he does not forgive. That does not mean that you are bad; that does not mean that you are cruel. When are you bad and cruel? When are you the problematic one? And that person is already problematic, and you also need not be concerned about him. There are other cases—the reverse. There was nothing in what I did to him; I did something very small to him, and he took it to a very hard place.

43:22 There are such cases too—extreme people. You did something very small to him; you said to him, 'Can you [unclear]?' No— he was offended by you; he took it to a place... You can say 'sorry' to him [unclear]; you are not— the moment you did not do anything to the person—as long as you did not shame him, as long as you did not speak against him, and he is offended by very small things— that is his problem. You do not now need to be pressured by it and be afraid of grievances. One need not live in such a way. But when a person— something is done against him, and afterward they appease him and bring him some gift— true, there was great damage; there was damage in that he did not work, and he has damage of 20,000 shekels,

44:02 damage that came to him— and you came and you gave him 50,000 shekels, you brought him double, and you gave him gifts, and you brought him flowers, and you brought him chocolates, and you arranged a place of work for him—and he says, 'I do not forgive you.' No? A person like that— you have no grievance against you from Heaven, because I appeased him; I did my part. He is by now cruel, in not forgiving me.

44:27 There was a misunderstanding. You do not need to be concerned. When a person did something terrible and expects someone to say—'Say it, say it: "you are forgiven, you are forgiven"'—by mouth, these are void things; it will not bring about any mechilah at all. It's meaningless. First of all, one has to know how to be good people. That's the most important thing. Many people suffer. You look for the Holy One, blessed be He, in all kinds of ways — at the Kosel, at the graves of tzaddikim.

44:54 Look for Him in derech eretz toward your neighbor. Look for Him in derech eretz toward your fellow man. The lashon hara, the shaming, the pain — what people do today in the world — that is the thing: everything that people suffer, from troubles, from illnesses, from plagues — it's only from this insult that is done to the Jewish people. It's forbidden, forbidden — not to read lashon hara, not to speak lashon hara, not to lend a hand to lashon hara. You see lashon hara — at once, you don't look at it.

45:24 It's like the most impure thing there is. Just as a person who is shown something immodest will run from it as from fire, so too with forbidden things. You don't look. I guard myself. One guards the eyes from seeing evil, and likewise from forbidden things. Words of heresy, apikorsus, lashon hara — one doesn't look at such things. A person still has to reach the point where he doesn't lend a hand to the evil that exists in the world. The evil that there is in the world today — the competition, the competition that there is, that springs up in the world, where everyone wants the honor and the power and the popularity, and they want to slaughter and trample along the way everyone who exists, because they don't believe that there is Someone who does everything.

46:04 So to people like these, you say — you say that there's no joining hands at all with people like these. And so, in a case like that, you can continue on your way, and you need not worry about grudges held against you or things like that. Those are empty things. The main thing is that a person behave well, with derech eretz, and with a pleasant face toward every person. That's what is needed, nothing beyond that. That's the most important thing. - So isn't that a lack of emunah? - What is the law about cancelling a shidduch?

46:33 Here, a little later on, the person ends up at the beis din, for a divorce. After all, here too there is shaming, here too there is shaming — he ruins the other one's life. Sometimes it's better to stop at once and not go on with it. - You asked a good question; I'll answer you. I have to answer this question before your question. You know what, let me answer him for a moment and I'll come back to you. The answer is very important; I have an answer to give on this.

47:00 It's a very, very important matter, the question you asked. A very, very important question. I'll answer him for just one second and I'll come back to you. - What is the question? - He asked: there's a case of a shidduch. And now the person says: either he shames and cancels the wedding, or afterwards he comes to a divorce at the rabbinical court, where everyone will see him getting divorced — so what should he do? So the answer is this. First of all, one has to know: a shidduch today should be made only in a way that the person feels this is his match. 'I went out on a shidduch, I see that it suits me, there's a match, there's no disagreement on things — it fits, no problem.'

47:43 A shidduch. When are there those who make problems? They go to all kinds of rabbis, they ask them, 'So-and-so and so-and-so, Tuvia and Sarah — is it a match?' They tell him, 'No, drop this shidduch — according to the names it's such-and-such.' That's a danger to life. A danger to life, these things. It's the most dangerous thing. One doesn't disqualify shidduchim. These are souls.

48:08 There are souls here, and generations, and character traits and wishes — and some rabbi comes and cuts it off because of names. First of all, I never do such a thing, and I'm against it. And many times such cases are brought to my attention, and many times I know of them — I've met cases of people whose shidduchim rabbis had dropped because of names, and I, baruch Hashem, made the shidduchim for them. I've known these people seven, eight years.

48:32 Everything works, everything is good, there are no problems. I don't understand it. First of all, this: under no circumstances does one cancel a shidduch because of names. That's one thing. The second thing: one doesn't cancel a shidduch because of a rabbi. Many times people go to a rabbi, they ask a rabbi. What does asking a rabbi have to do with a shidduch? What is the connection? One can ask a rabbi about conduct, about Torah, about Hashkafah, things like that. What does a rabbi have to do with it? To expect that he, with ruach hakodesh, will tell you — there are rabbis like that too, who drop it not because of names — with ruach hakodesh, not with names.

49:01 'Tell me if this is my shidduch' — he drops her because, with ruach hakodesh, he saw something. These things are nonsense. One doesn't drop a shidduch. What? The sefer Mar'eh HaYeladim — we all know the sefer Mar'eh HaYeladim. Well, actually no, it isn't a sefer that everyone knows; it's a somewhat Kabbalistic sefer, and this sefer also shows the future.

49:26 You can know the future with the sefer Mar'eh HaYeladim, with the names. And he explains there that one can also know about divorce; sometimes, too, if they marry each other, they could die. It's dangerous. I know the Mar'eh HaYeladim. But today we have a Mar'eh Mevugarim — a 'sight of the adults.' Today we see a sight of adults — standing there at thirty, at forty; that is what I see, not children. Once there was Mar'eh HaYeladim, the sight of the children; I see a sight of adults. I see a young man of forty who hasn't yet married, a young woman of forty who hasn't yet married — of thirty.

49:53 The generation today is hard, and they start dropping them because of names. I'm not in favor of this. Today the whole way of things has changed. One can't come and start making the calculations of the names, what the Mar'eh HaYeladim writes. That was once, in its time — they married at 15, 17, 14, 16. There was time: make calculations, and if there's a problem... Today it's already the sight of the adults — look. I'm telling you. There was no divorce like today. There are things.

50:19 If there is her name, the mother's name, and so on — I also wrote a responsum on this, that something can be done — to add a name; there's a solution for everything. Today I'm for solutions to everything — only that they marry. Not to reach this situation where people are left without a wedding — and because of names, because of that. I don't go along with this, you know? - Just let me finish. One moment.

50:44 I haven't finished yet. - What did you say, though? - No — to suggest, for example: if someone relies on you very, very much and you suggest to him, someone you suggest for this young woman, someone whose mother, you know — his mother is a very, very folksy sort, she is very simple, and it may be hard for her later on, and you tell them, and you don't know if they really understand what follows. - What is 'a simple, folksy woman,' tell me? What are the souls of Israel today? Do you know what the souls of Israel are, do you know? Today, today, today — how can we say of a Jewish soul 'folksy, simple'? Explain it to me.

51:14 There's no such thing today. So a woman who sings with a broom at home — that is a 'folksy woman.' You know, I'll tell you: the Chazon Ish would go for a walk every day, every day. One day he lingered, and didn't go up to the house; he made another round of forty minutes. So his attendant asked him, 'Why did the Rav — you were at the door, you knocked, you came to knock — and you went down and made another round?' He told him, 'Look, the cleaning woman in my home is a widow, she has no children.

51:43 She is singing now — I hear her singing. Now, if I go in, she'll stop singing, finish cleaning and leave. I prefer to make another round; let her enjoy, let her sing, let her be happy — this folksy woman, who sings with the broom — and I'll come home afterwards.' He went, and came back after forty minutes — someone as great as the Chazon Ish, who was careful about these small things.

52:10 Fine, 'a folksy woman' — he could have said that. - A young woman, I don't know if she understands what the Rav is saying now. - Then she has to understand. The time has come for you to begin to really understand how one must relate to the Jewish people. We are speaking here about Hashem's people. There are souls here, there are women here who were born into frameworks of life, who went through a whole course of life. One can't catalogue them like books in a library because she is 'a folksy woman' and so on — so what? - No, that is fine, but with a different language — it's like two languages. - There are no languages. One also has to understand all the tongues and all the languages, and this thing has to be done away with, and a community made wherever it's needed.

52:46 It has to be done away with. - Can one, or not? - Now, in a case like this, when does one go to ask a rabbi? A rabbi says, 'Look' — there are such cases that I, too, deliberate on. This woman is from this Chassidus, and this young man is from that Chassidus. His Rebbe and her Rebbe — there's a problem in the way of conduct.

53:11 They say, 'Whatever you decide.' I have cases like these. So you deliberate; you hear a case. That is, there's a case here, there's a matter of conduct here, there could be disputes, things like that — matters in which there is something to deliberate. But to try to judge it from a heavenly side, and thoughts — one doesn't get into that at all. - A person who got engaged, say — yes — and then he sees that there's no match, and he knows that 80, 90 percent it won't go right after the wedding. So he says, 'Listen, better early than late.' So someone is shamed — after the wedding, too, they would be shamed; those who were married seven days and divorced right away — there are such cases too — they are shamed.

53:50 - Look, look, let's explain something. Today, in our days, when there truly is a very great shame for a person, once it has been finalized, or at the wedding, in all kinds of ways — he is shamed; in the end it'll be like this, they'll say this, they'll say that, they'll say this — it's simply a kind of public shame.

54:17 These things must be done only in a controlled and correct way, and not in another way, one that will cause shame. There's no permission to cancel without asking a great chacham, a moreh hora'ah, a great one in Israel, who is known for piety, for true fear of Heaven, who can judge the case, and he can tell you whether to cancel or not to cancel.

54:43 I tell you that I've had many cases, many cases of shidduchim that they were about to cancel, and it was simply a mistake — and baruch Hashem, it turned out well, and everything. And one has to really know why. Sometimes there's a young man who gets engaged, and he is in confusion: 'It doesn't suit me' — with confusion, 'it doesn't suit me.' Everyone falls into confusion; the yetzer hara plays its game afterwards, it starts telling you...

55:13 Today, when someone is offered a shidduch, he comes with the feeling: 'Well, this isn't it; let's see, maybe this is it.' Now he arrives at the thought, 'Well, this isn't it — let's see what there is. This isn't it.' One has to come with the approach: 'This is it — let's see what is missing.' To change the approach. Someone once — Rav Shach — he said to him, 'I'm searching for my aveidah, what I lost, and I can't find it.' He told him, 'You are searching for a metziah, a find — not for your aveidah.'

55:38 'You are searching for a find; you are not searching for what you lost.' There are those who search for finds; they don't search for what they lost. One has to search, to find, to reach the point where you find a wife — you'll find a good wife. Today, in our generation, things are very, very, very, very different, and so you have to know how to act truly with silk gloves, because these are souls. This is shaming. You shame people along the way: you cancelled the shidduch, you disgraced the father at his workplace, the mother, the grandchild; you gave them a bad name, as if there is something in the family.

56:11 A mess comes out of it — it's really, like... So first of all, before finalizing, one has to know that it's truly being finalized. One doesn't finalize quickly, quickly, and then afterwards ask a thousand questions. First of all, know that it's settled. If there's a doubt, you have another meeting. If there's a doubt — another meeting. You check what the thing is that bothers, what the thing is that holds it back. Where does the obstacle lie? In what does it lie? Can it be fixed? Can it be improved?

56:36 You manage it, and then you go ahead. You don't do it quick, quick, quick, and afterwards there's a mess, and disputes over money, and they fight — who will pay here, who will pay, 'I committed myself' — there's a quarrel and a dispute and lashon hara on the family, and they spread this about them and they spread that about them, and then afterwards the young man is stuck at home, and he is broken, and falls into sadness, and deteriorates in his state of mind — and the young woman... They don't understand the consequences, how dangerous this is today. And the approach to shidduchim today is mistaken, because people suddenly go to some mekubal to look into the names, and on that basis they even break up homes, and everything deteriorates. I tell you, in the cases I see, when stories like these come to me —

57:15 and baruch Hashem — I tell you: go to da'as Torah. I call for da'as Torah, and not for stories and things like that, because it causes much harm and many things. No one has permission to cancel shidduchim, unless the person truly sees that there is something, or I don't know what — and one has to ask a chacham — some case, I don't know what, where there truly is some problem, I don't know what. It has to be deliberated. Even in medical cases one also has to deliberate whether to cancel a shidduch.

57:43 It suddenly came out at the third meeting that he has such-and-such. It came out at the third meeting that he is such-and-such. Why cancel? Why cancel? Why cancel? What — is this not a human being? So what is it? And if... tell me — a question. There's a problem: that one has a certain kind of illness? It does no harm. It does no harm. Afterwards it comes out, time passes, a person is afraid.

58:09 And what if it was decreed for this person to live with it, and for that one it was decreed that he pass away — I don't know, he suddenly goes in an accident — who knows who goes and how he goes? No one can know. First of all, you check. Nothing has happened. You know, the Rav of Shklov said something, regarding the geulah, about two wives — that it's permitted... One can learn from this — you say, 'What is he saying? Such a thing isn't the practice, as far as the Halachah goes, that it's permitted — the cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom, and so on.'

58:39 Yes, as to the Halachah — that has already ended, but you say: what is happening today in our generation, today, when people can't find even one wife? They can't find. He can't manage to find one wife. You tell him 'two wives,' when the geulah comes? What — that this will bring Mashiach, will bring the geulah? You say: what is going on, like, today, in our generation, when people can't even find one? Do you know why? They could find.

59:04 The outlook today is mistaken from its root. The mind — it's crooked. When the mind is crooked, it keeps getting stuck in the tree. People look crookedly all the time; the outlook is always on what isn't — what isn't right, what isn't good, what isn't; all the time it is 'where is the not-good,' and they find the not-good, because they are looking for the not-good. Instead of the head thinking — people look for a wife who suits them; sometimes it's the opposite of you, it's opposites.

59:33 It isn't supposed to be... the outlook always has to be — do you understand? A person looks for something that will fit him, like a robot. The search has to be to look for what the goal is. You have to look for a goal, and the wife. One looks for a goal, and one doesn't look for a person. One looks for a goal, and someone who comes with you toward the goal. And then, that way, it's easier to find a shidduch, because that is da'as Torah. What is written? 'And he brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother... and he loved her.'

1:00:00 What do you learn from here? When were the chuppah and the kiddushin? The love came afterwards. The love comes after the wedding. There are those who say, 'No, if I don't have some certain something here, I'm not...' What 'something' are you looking for in this? The 'something' has to be for the Holy One, blessed be He. 'And you shall love Hashem your G-d.' There has to be a heart for the Holy One, blessed be He. 'And you shall love Hashem your G-d.' The outlook has to be in such a place that will bring the person, in a different way, to this highest place: 'And you shall love Hashem your G-d.'

1:00:29 The outlook has to be in a different place. The contemplation has to be toward this place. From here a person can reach high. But if the search is after 'why isn't everything here now' — who said that it would be? You understand? We are always seeking that the Holy One, blessed be He, should lead us according to what we want. We want the salvation like this, at this time — this salvation, at this time.

1:00:54 We make the plans for the Holy One, blessed be He, and say to Him, 'Do You hear? This is exactly what I want. Do it. Nu, nu, what is happening with it?' It isn't like that. It isn't like that. And people transgress by forcing the hour. Everything has to be in its time, in its measure, and the Holy One, blessed be He, knows exactly what to give a person — in its time, what is coming to him, what is coming to her. The Creator knows how to give you everything — what is coming to you and what you'll go through; everything is decreed. There's a King who leads us in the world. We are here on the road, the car is driving — that is how the Holy One, blessed be He, decides and leads you. You have to submit

1:01:29 to the King's leadership. The moment you submit, everything will go much more calmly. The moment you stand firm, you don't submit, you start to quarrel — and here the difficulty begins. That's why I always say: when one wants to act, or to change something, or to do something, always do things in a gentle way, a respectful way, with derech eretz, an ethical way — never with disputes, never with bloodshed, not with baseless hatred, not with lashon hara.

1:01:59 Is there a way? Yes. Say: 'This shidduch will part. An amazing woman, a good woman, she is accomplished; I would have wanted her. It's simply because our goal, our Hashkafah, is different.' There's no need to come and spill blood — 'he is like this, she is like that' — but he starts getting into it, and the families fight. These are things that we, so easily today — you have seen, we — you don't understand how crooked this generation is, that it marks people, it marks them — it's simply a crime.

1:02:31 - When one of the spouses grows stronger in Torah and the other doesn't — how does one work it out so that they stay together? How can they go on? They started out as secular, and suddenly one... - Right. It's very common: there are many couples who are not observant of Torah and mitzvos, and then suddenly there is one of the spouses who feels drawn closer, and the wife stays a little behind — or the reverse: the wife draws close and the husband less so.

1:02:58 So first of all, the most important thing is what there is between them. There's love between them, they love each other — and then, look, if there's true love, you go over to him, to the other spouse. You say to him, 'My dear husband, what would you mind doing such-and-such? For me.' 'What do you say? The approach is different? No problem, I'm willing to listen. If you truly love me, do it for me.' 'If you truly love me, make the effort for me.'

1:03:25 That is, if there's love, people are willing. When there's true love, you can go with a person to the end of the world; you love him and his goal. But if there's no bond and true love between you, then why would there be? Why would it be that either one comes toward the other, toward the other's side? One has to come when there's a goal, there's a bond, there's dialogue, there is something that connects and is common to both sides — then there's a goal, then there's progress. As for separating them — one doesn't come and say that now; it's care, it's dialogue. It depends.

1:03:58 It may be that they came to a break over certain cases. There are cases that have to be deliberated, when they are problematic — like taharas hamishpachah, things like that. With everything, one must always ask a chacham. In cases of a couple, it has to be deliberated; in some cases, sometimes, she is in fact willing, and one has to know, to listen — each case is a case on its own, and it has to be deliberated.

1:04:25 That's right. To break up a home — in truth, that is something I never recommend. It's only when a person feels that he no longer has anyone to communicate with in the home, that he is alone — he finds himself alone all the time.

1:04:52 But he is secular, and she wants to be religious, or... When each one reaches the agreement that they don't agree, that it isn't a match — that isn't something improper. There's Tractate Gittin, and Kiddushin. It isn't the same matter. - So why — when he made a shidduch, and at the third meeting he sees that it doesn't suit — he doesn't want to fall, he doesn't want his whole life to be hard.

1:05:22 On the other hand, the moment he cancels the shidduch at that point, then the young woman has to be shamed. - No, there's no need to be shamed. You do it in a proper way; you do it with derech eretz. If you do a thing with derech eretz and with the right approach — if you send a bouquet of flowers, and say, 'It was such a privilege for me to get to know you, I so had this privilege of being with you, and I'm grateful' — yes; a thing that doesn't suit, doesn't suit. There's no problem in that. You are not obligated to anyone. It doesn't suit.

1:05:53 It doesn't suit. There's no... you can't force — - There are many cases where they are broken by this; it happens to them too. - Right, it happens. - And they are completely broken. - I tell you that the breaking comes from the approach and not from this. No one was tied down beforehand. Nothing has happened. The approach is what breaks them. The approach — when the matchmaker, the shadchan or the shadchanis, 'They don't want it anymore,' 'no, not this' — that is what breaks them. The approach breaks.

1:06:19 When things are done with the right approach — it is all a matter of knowing how to deliver the news. Serach bas Asher merited eternal life only because she said, "Yosef is still alive." One has to know how to deliver the news. One has to know how to say the thing. The good thing as well as the bad thing — one has to know how to make it heard. When things are not done in the right way, the hurt becomes very severe, and its consequences are far-reaching.

1:06:47 One must be very careful with this; there is no way around it. There is no problem with that at all. No problem. On the contrary — on the contrary: be the shadchan — and I know many couples like that — on the contrary, take on their shidduch, and strengthen them and bring them close to the Holy One, blessed be He. Bring them close to the Holy One, blessed be He — and on the contrary, take it upon yourself that they grow stronger in Torah, in kedushah, in fear of Heaven and everything — and there is no problem.

1:07:23 "Before the blind" — in Tractate Avodah Zarah, page 6, the Sages learned that there is a law of assisting those who commit a transgression. Here things are different. I'll explain why. It is something very simple. When you see a shidduch and want to match them, and want to make the shidduch between them, and you say: if they build a home, this young man will stop roaming the roads, and she will stop grazing in foreign fields, and they won't go, Heaven forbid, [unclear].

1:07:48 And on the contrary: by setting up a home, first of all you prevent — first of all — many severe prohibitions, of the sin of blemishing the covenant, of forbidden things, things like that. First of all, you make the match — more souls will come into the world. More souls will come. First of all, souls will come; there will be benefit for the Jewish people. And what is left for you is just to give a light of teshuvah here, and so you have brought back the home — a whole generation. That is easier. You make your effort.

1:08:12 Just as you made an effort for the shidduch — on the contrary, you give your view. On the contrary — to reveal G-dliness. What does a person say to himself? What is "assisting those who commit a transgression"? When a person is going now, and you, together with him, give him a hand in the transgression he is doing — that is mainly "assisting those who commit a transgression": assisting with your very hands in a forbidden thing, and things like that. Here that does not apply. Here there is a mitzvah. I am assisting a mitzvah to be done in the world, that it be fulfilled, that there be Tikkun in the world, and the settling of the world, and they will dwell and serve Hashem, and a revelation of G-dliness. And who says that if I give them some short mussar talk on the way of Hashem, on the word of Hashem,

1:08:49 they won't accept it and agree to keep Torah and mitzvos? If my shadchan's fee is that I want them to take upon themselves taharas hamishpachah, family purity — why wouldn't they agree? Why wouldn't they agree? There are many women who don't keep Torah and mitzvos, and all that — and they are careful about taharas hamishpachah, they keep Shabbos — so what? Everyone lives his own life. One can't now go and live people's lives for them, but at least to make our effort and reveal G-dliness in them. So what — shall we leave them, so that there is no taharas hamishpachah, leave them not keeping Shabbos, and say, 'Fine, I...'

1:09:21 No, I don't think so — absolutely not. - There is also the story of parents who interfere in the shidduch as if they themselves were about to get married. - That also happens sometimes. Look, so in a case like that, of course, from the side of Halachah, there is no problem of honoring father and mother in it, because it does not touch the father's own person. In the areas we learned — that in the law of honoring father and mother — when is it d'Oraisa, Torah law, or d'Rabbanan, Rabbinic: d'Oraisa is with his own person; d'Rabbanan is when it is not with his own person.

1:09:59 In this case of a shidduch — is it with the father's own person? No. He has no pain from it; it is not his person; it withholds nothing from him; it does not pertain to him; he owes him nothing in this. There is no issue in it. But when it could, Heaven forbid, hurt the father — I don't know in what way — that has to be deliberated: is there some hurt to the father here, in some particular form of shame, or I don't know what. Now, if he is ashamed of it, or I don't know what — one way or another, ask a chacham: he will hear the case, hear the matter, and he will rule what the law is. This is not the kind of answer that is now general, for everyone, because there are cases where the parents recognize some problem that the son doesn't recognize, or the daughter doesn't recognize.

1:10:40 'What you are doing is not good, and you need to listen to us' — because they have a feeling, a very deep one, for their children. And sometimes there is also a reason that is just nothing, but one needs to ask a chacham, who will recognize which case is right and which case is not right, so that he will know where to point to the problem. Otherwise, we will never be done with this. - Rav, how do you see the plain meaning? [unclear] ...to look at him.

1:11:12 - What do you mean, "to look"? I didn't understand. - [unclear] Look, [unclear]... Look, what was the [unclear] of Yitzchak? Look, [unclear] "returned to his lads" — and Yitzchak, no. When they came back from the Akeidah, when they came back from the Akeidah, [unclear] Yitzchak.

1:11:51 - No, he [unclear] about three years, so what is the question? - On the contrary — the Amud HaEmes, Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk, gives a most wonderful explanation of what you are saying. He says that the greatness of Avraham Avinu — a few minutes and I'll finish this, because [unclear] under pressure — I see you are already fidgeting.

1:12:18 I see you fidgeting. A few minutes and then tefillah — don't worry, I'm not going on for too much longer. A few minutes, then tefillah. It came out that we went on a bit long today. There were very interesting questions. Yes, yes, I'm getting to you, and then I finish, and then we'll daven Arvis. But there really were interesting things; every time we learn new things, and they are interesting. There are also niggunim this week, you know — music.

1:12:45 - [unclear] - Gan Eden. About genetics? - Yes, they drop it — [unclear] they check the [unclear]. [unclear] too — they check a great deal, [unclear] — genetics. If there is Dor Yeshorim, we do a test, a test [unclear], and then they come out and say whether it is a match. - Yes, Dor Yeshorim, [unclear]. Look, I don't know how to speak about genetics; I don't know what is genetic or not.

1:13:15 I'll tell you a story that happened with me nine years ago — no, ten years; nine and a half; nine years — it was nine and a half years ago, or ten — about a Jew, about a Jewish woman who wanted to marry a young man, [unclear] this epilepsy — the falling sickness. In terms of the falling. In terms of the falling.

1:13:41 And they had been to several chachamim and all, and they cancelled the shidduch. They came to me. I told them my view. I saw that there was fear of Heaven — I saw it, I told them. I found no reason whatsoever — only because of this thing. True, it is a problem, but still. I said to them: on the side of wanting it — is there compatibility? Leave the genetics — there was the genetics, and it came out not good.

1:14:08 On the side of wanting it — is it good? Yes. Is there compatibility? Does the family want it? Everyone wants it. So what is the problem? Baruch Hashem — they said to me, 'And what will be with this?' [unclear] responsible. Ten years, to this day — not once has that illness appeared. I ask you — maybe it had vanished even before; nothing to do with me. Who says that it...

1:14:38 You understand? Who says it was there? So the genetics — what does the genetics say? The genetics says... No — we have, too much, forgotten our Creator. We have forgotten that we have Someone here who can also cancel the genetics. I mean, what happened? What happened? Why are we living inside nature all the time? We need to raise our level a little, and our emunah.

1:15:04 And not to be like — what is this — having to look at tests and tremble. Someone saw a test that was not good — calm down, everything is fine. - [unclear] - Fine, but that is from the side of Halachah. Look, first we need "to know Your way on earth." All right? "Here it is before the blessing, here it is after the blessing" — what do you want? Only Hashem. Berachos, page 35: here before the blessing, here after the blessing.

1:15:31 You want — first of all, one goes in the way of Torah, one goes in the way of emunah; you see that there is derech eretz, you see that there is compatibility, that there are good middos — why be so materialistic, looking for problems? One goes in the way of Torah, fear of Heaven; there is compatibility and there is love, in the way of Hashem — everything is fine. There is no need to be... you understand. Now — the Amud HaEmes, the Amud HaEmes — I don't know that sefer.

1:16:02 I'll explain something to you. I haven't learned such a sefer; I don't know it. What you said about the Amud HaEmes — the Amud HaEmes — it is something very, very, very, very lofty, what is said. When they set out — Avraham Avinu, who set out, took Yitzchak to the Akeidah. Now picture to yourselves a person who merits some revelation of G-dliness, yes? A person — the Holy One, blessed be He, reveals Himself to him.

1:16:27 A very great revelation of G-dliness, immense. The Holy One, blessed be He, reveals Himself to him, chooses him, does the miracle through him, speaks with him — how will he come back? I'd come back like, 'Do you know Who revealed Himself to me?' Everyone, you know — he looks at everyone with arrogance in his heart: 'You don't know who I am.' He looks at everyone like that, with arrogance — everyone he looks at, and says, 'Do you know where I have just come from? Who spoke with me?'

1:16:52 'You don't know' — he talks like that to himself, he grows arrogant: 'The Holy One, blessed be He, wants me; He spoke with me.' It says the opposite — the Amud HaEmes says the opposite: this is the greatness of Avraham Avinu — that he comes back in simplicity: nothing happened, nothing at all. After the greatest event, when the Holy One, blessed be He, revealed Himself to him — the Holy One, blessed be He — Avraham Avinu goes back again to the natural way, [unclear] - [unclear] - That is not arrogance; it is also what we spoke about.

1:17:31 Yes? - Yitzchak — he [unclear] in Gan Eden. - Yes? - Didn't Yitzchak go to Gan Eden? - No, you are talking about something else; that is the view of the Zohar, that he learned Torah for three years in Gan Eden, and afterwards he came back upside down, and the Tosafos say, in Da'as Zekeinim: "Who is that man" — she saw him walking upside down. That is something else. There are explanations, there are Midrashim.

1:17:56 In the plain meaning, we have a plain meaning — right now, the plain meaning. According to the Zohar — according to the Zohar, a revi'is of blood came out; a revi'is of blood, too, went out of him — he had already begun to slaughter; a revi'is of blood came out, and he flew off to Gan Eden. He learned Torah there for three years, and afterwards he came back — that is when she saw "that man." Why "that" one — halazeh? Because he came back upside down; she saw him walking upside down. There are loads of explanations on this, yes, even... but each one — look, if someone goes with this explanation — explanations, one can see loads of explanations — but the main thing is to grasp the explanation that will be close to our understanding.

1:18:29 The explanation closest to the understanding is what the Amud HaEmes of Kotzk explains. The true greatness here, in the passage of the Akeidah — there is a very, very immense story here of self-sacrifice, but the immense greatness, and the thing to contemplate, is that Avraham Avinu, with all that was revealed to him, comes back in his simplicity, as if nothing had happened — [unclear] his lads — and the Holy One, blessed be He, reveals to them that with all the greatness and all his kedushah and all his level, Avraham Avinu sees himself as a simple man who came from Be'er Sheva, and as if nothing happened.

1:19:02 It is not written, 'and his heart grew haughty, and he flew, and he soared, and he hovered, and he said: Hashem revealed Himself, Who spoke with me, Who it was' — no. Simply: there was the Akeidah, he came back in peace. Now, what did you want — you, tzaddik, [unclear] — what did you say? - About jealousy and arrogance: what do you... how does a person work on arrogance? For us — after all, when a person is jealous, apparently it comes from arrogance. - Right.

1:19:26 - How can a person work on arrogance, for simpler people? - Right. - So how does one work on the middah of arrogance, for simple people and not for the great levels? - Now, first. So I'll explain to you. It is a simple thing. Arrogance — there is not much of a remedy for it. It is something that requires a great, great deal of learning and a great deal of mussar, because a person has no way of truly working on this middah.

1:19:57 The only way is — one can learn Orchos Tzaddikim; one can learn a bit about it — about arrogance — learn the gates there, on joy, on jealousy, in general. And the second thing: to pray to the Holy One, blessed be He, that I merit to recognize that everything is Hashem. Look, if we recognize that everything is the Holy One, blessed be He — a simple recognition, that you know that everything is the Creator's doing, and there is Someone who is King of the world and runs the world — then you can know that you will spare yourself a great many things.

1:20:28 But arrogance stems from a lack of the knowledge by which a person understands that there is a King here in the world who decides about our lives. He decides how long a person will live, when he will die, how he will die, at what time, on which day, at which hour. The very fact that you just know this thing already humbles a person. When do you see people humbled? Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur. You see so many people with arrogance, who think they are judges and kings and running the world — it is nothing.

1:20:58 There is no arrogance at all; it has no place for a person in the world. Or in the cemetery. - A person also has to develop himself. - Right. - A person, too, between arrogance... on one hand a person humbles himself, but on the other hand he also has to advance. You won't put everything on the Holy One, blessed be He, in a certain sense. - I'll tell you the truth: always say — say: 'It is all the Holy One, blessed be He.' That is best.

1:21:22 Even the worst thing you have — 'It is all the Holy One, blessed be He.' Nothing will happen from that, don't worry. Yes — a blessing? - Aharon Yaakov ben Golda Nechamah. - Aharon Yaakov ben Golda Nechamah: salvations, a good zivug, joy, a good life; may you be in joy, may you have much good mazal. - Amen. - Does emunah actually nullify all the bad middos, the bad character traits?

1:21:51 - Does emunah nullify all the bad middos? No. Why — did Pharaoh not have emunah in Hashem? Everyone has emunah in Hashem. Well, you are asking a good question. You are asking a good question, but I'll explain. Sometimes a person has emunah. He has emunah — everything — in the Holy One, blessed be He. He believes in the Holy One, blessed be He; it is not that he doesn't believe in the Holy One, blessed be He.

1:22:16 He believes — but his middos are middos that bring him... like Yeravam ben Nevat. What will you say about that? He had emunah in the Holy One, blessed be He; he was holy in the covenant [unclear]. The kedushah and the levels that Yeravam was at — it was something whose level cannot be understood at all. This is the way of Hashem [unclear]. But he reached immense levels that cannot be fathomed. That has nothing to do with him afterwards. Achav was a king in his time — idolatry and all — and he had emunah in the Holy One, blessed be He, and trust in the Holy One, blessed be He, and power and strength and courage, and faith in the Torah scholars — he was given another 22 years to live.

1:22:58 And still you find that... What is the connection? If a person doesn't work on the evil that is in him, that evil will never go away. Every person has evil; there are bad natures, there are bad middos. If a person doesn't work on it, he can't fix it. He can't change it. Nothing. - Which middah remains? - Loads of middos remain. There are middos. There is anger, there is arrogance, you know?

1:23:24 You know, [unclear] held, in his view, that learning mussar is an important study, every day. But sometimes he also held that it must be learned in measure. What does that mean? That if suddenly there is... After all, the middos are revealed at certain times. The middos are not revealed every day; they are revealed at certain times. Meaning, you can think right now that you are not a jealous person. 'I have no jealousy. What — has anyone ever seen me jealous in my life? I don't know what jealousy is. It is simply a middah that someone made up. I have a good eye; I'm not jealous of anyone.'

1:23:54 Suddenly, two weeks later, it comes about that he is working at some workplace; he works there, and suddenly he sees someone overtaking him — smarter than him, more talented than him, overtaking him. Right away — what happens once the two weeks have passed? Suddenly jealousy is born in him — he did not know it existed. Suddenly jealousy is born. Jealousy comes at certain times. The middos come at certain times. Suddenly there is anger.

1:24:19 Until now there was no anger; suddenly anger appears. Where did the anger come from? Suddenly the anger arrives. The middos come in periods, and so one must always learn about them, so that when they come you will have protection. Otherwise, if a person doesn't learn about the middos, when the middos come — suddenly a period arrives... And a person can never know his own middos — only when he stands in a test. A person doesn't know what the level of his anger is until he stands in a test of anger. A person also doesn't know how much jealousy is in him, and what he would be willing to do for it, until he stands in the test.

1:24:51 With Kayin and Hevel: I ask you, about Kayin — did Kayin have jealousy? He had jealousy, right? He was jealous of Hevel. Did we know that he had jealousy? We did not know. The Torah did not teach us that he had jealousy. It is not written in the Torah, 'And there was jealousy in Kayin'; 'and Kayin was a jealous man, and Hevel his brother...' No, it is not written. Nothing at all, no introduction, nothing. Suddenly the Torah teaches us that the killing and the destruction and the death — that Kayin killed Hevel — was, all in all, an outcome and a result of the jealousy that was here inside.

1:25:33 Meaning, from here you learn from the Torah — I am giving you, right now, a simple interpretation of my own on the Torah. By the way, I have commentaries — which, with Hashem's help, will come out — with Hashem's help, too — I have commentaries on the Torah. Very beautiful ones — interpretations and things like that, many things; with Hashem's help, when it comes out, you will love it very much. A real commentary, like that, on many things — also on the Book of Vayikra, on the korbanos, the offerings — on many things in the korbanos where people don't understand the connections.

1:26:05 I gave many explanations of the connections — very beautiful things, on many subjects. With Hashem's help, I hope we will bring out a great, great deal of all that we have in our hands. But how did I come to say this? Where was I? - About Kayin. - Meaning that the hidden jealousy that Kayin had, this hidden jealousy, is the one that led — and led, in the end, to the murder of Hevel.

1:26:34 Meaning, we did not know it existed until it came to expression, at a certain time. From here you learn that the middos are revealed at certain times; they are not revealed all the time. If you had asked Kayin a week before whether he had jealousy — 'What? No way!' - But at the moment of the act, if Kayin had known that the Holy One, blessed be He, is the One [unclear], [unclear] — so, like, what complaint do you have? He is the One who runs things, He created you, He decided. - Right.

1:27:04 You are speaking right now — there is a difference between speech, where speech sits in a certain place, and the living of it — what a person actually lives. We all know this, but the problem is... - I'm asking, at the high level of emunah... - There is da'as and there is reality. When you live in this da'as, you are there. Kayin knew this da'as, but in reality he did not live this da'as. Why is a person jealous? Why does a person do wrong? Why does a person speak lashon hara? Everyone believes in Hashem, everyone knows there is Hashem, but we are not in this da'as.

1:27:37 We are not in the place of da'as. We are in a place where we have a blemish in da'as, so we say, 'Fine, He exists, but we don't...' and then that brings about these things. So one must know — [unclear]... Nu, yes. - [unclear] Yosef too. - Yosef. I said: at their level, too. [unclear] What can one do? For that, one has to work. The work.

1:28:03 - Rav, [unclear] Maimon, it seems to me — everything that happens to a person, one must know that it is from Hashem — that this is among the principles of emunah; he brings there that [unclear]. [unclear] that whoever doesn't do this is lacking [unclear]... Do you see this da'as as something that every Jew must strive for and reach? - He must — yes, he must, he must. It is an obligation, an obligation to know this, and an obligation to know that there is a King and Leader, who made, makes and will make all that is made — and we cannot see Him — and one must submit to His leadership, and know that what He does is the very best thing, and rely on the Holy One, blessed be He, and believe in the Holy One, blessed be He,

1:28:47 and love the Holy One, blessed be He, more than everything. The more we reach this level and live with this knowledge and this Hashkafah, you will reach the highest place there is, and you will know that nothing has any place. All right, tzaddik — you are the last, to finish. - I'm saying, [unclear] to nullify one middah, and another middah, and another middah — so one only gets to that if... I feel that in my own work [unclear] a single middah — I [unclear] it for a whole lifetime.

1:29:14 - [unclear] a moment, to let him — a moment, to let him. One second, [unclear]. Yes, tzaddik. Excuse me. - Is it only when people divorce that the altar weeps, or also over a shidduch — when they break off a shidduch, does the altar weep then too? - I did not say it about a shidduch. I didn't understand: if a shidduch is broken off the altar weeps, or when people divorce the altar weeps? - When people divorce — [unclear].

1:29:48 And Hashem, blessed be He — [unclear]. [unclear] for those who divorce, [unclear]. What is this thing? - First of all, I am sorry for you that you got divorced, but I am sure that, with Hashem's help, we will find you the right shidduch, you will be happy and joyful, and everything will be all right. Everyone has several shidduchim in this world. Everyone has many shidduchim. We have many souls, many shidduchim.

1:30:25 There is no need... - A second question? [unclear] not speaking with her. I already [unclear] the children, so how do I manage? And as the Rav said, [unclear] - And now, I don't know what the children's names are, what the circumstances are, what the circumstances are. So first of all, with Hashem's help, it is not so terrible. I will try to help you; I will help you, bli neder. We will find the solution. Afterwards tell me your name, sir, and the children's, everything. I will sit with you, we will find the solution, and we will make peace for you with the children, in the family, and you will be joyful and happy. With the children to come you will be [unclear], and everything will be all right.

1:31:36 You will build a faithful home and be joyful. Everything will be all right. But I will answer your question. So, regarding a shidduch: the altar does not weep — only over divorce. In Tractate Gittin, page 90, the Gemara says there that the altar sheds tears when a person divorces. That is where the Sages learn it. Yes. Meaning — now, why? Because the Holy One, blessed be He — every life-force there is in the world, every home there is in the world, is offspring; it is a revelation of Hashem's G-dliness.

1:32:06 So the altar is the place where the korbanos are offered, and now the Holy One, blessed be He — the altar sheds tears over this. Do you understand? But that is not over a shidduch. A shidduch, if it has not [unclear] — it is not yet... it is not complete. Yes, tzaddik.

1:32:31 - But Rabbeinu says, in the Torah [unclear], to [unclear] a middah — the middah. - Yes. - If Rabbeinu expects us to live up to this — but I don't see, in serving Hashem, that it is, like, so easy to nullify a middah. When Rabbeinu says [unclear]. How does one get to that? - You know, the Mishnah Berurah brought the words of [unclear] Rabbi Yonasan Eybeschutz, in the laws of Shabbos, that one who does not learn the laws of Shabbos desecrates Shabbos. I have no doubt.

1:32:56 A person who does not learn the laws of Shabbos — can he keep Shabbos? No. He desecrates Shabbos. You want to know about middos? Sit with yourself, write down for yourself your blemishes, take a mussar sefer — Shaarei Teshuvah by Rabbeinu Yonah, take Orchos Tzaddikim, take Pirkei Avos with commentaries. Learn middos, and work on the middos.

1:33:21 If a person does not learn about middos, never in my life will I believe of him that he got out of a middah. There is no such thing. None. It is as if you were to say that someone keeps Shabbos — he doesn't know what siman [unclear] is, doesn't know anything. He doesn't know the laws of Shabbos. Nothing. He knows nothing. You say to him, 'The laws of Shabbos — do you know what moving things is, muktzeh — do you know things?' Nothing. 'But I keep Shabbos.' 'What do you do?'

1:33:45 'I don't light cigarettes.' What will you say to him? 'It doesn't work like that,' you will tell him. 'There is borer, selecting; one has to know things; one has to prepare oneself for Shabbos; there is the mikveh; the parashah twice and the Targum once; there is the Torah reading.' 'No, I don't know anything.' He doesn't learn; he doesn't connect to Shabbos. So he commits many prohibitions without knowing. He showers, wrings out — clothes — does things. Things like these are forbidden, and a person has to know. If you want to learn, you have to know what the problem is, and learn about it.

1:34:14 If you don't learn, you won't get out of anything. And also tefillah. You want to work on a middah? Pray about it, that it should not be. Say: 'Holy One, blessed be He, take this middah away from me. Take this desire away from me. Take this middah away from me. I don't want it.' Only when you pray about something and learn about something a great, great deal will you nullify it, and it will not belong to you; it will be nullified. But if you don't learn and don't pray about it, this thing will remain.

1:34:39 The way to get the bad middah out of you, and the things that are not good, is only through tefillah and learning about that subject, and this will uproot what is not good in a person, and the person will be able to know that he is correcting this middah. And this, of course, is through tefillah and a person's speaking — when a person speaks to the Holy One, blessed be He, and prays about it. This is only by his secluding himself, between him and his Maker, and speaking out his prayer before the Holy One, blessed be He. He writes this in Part II, Torah 25, and also in Part I, Torah 15.

1:35:13 'One who wants to taste the taste of the Hidden Light' — all the secrets, all the things — that is only when he judges and passes judgment on himself. Hold a trial — he holds a trial for himself, says to himself, 'I am such and such and such, I am such and such and such' — he holds a trial, he judges himself; he nullifies the [unclear] from below, and then he receives [unclear] from Heaven — the Holy One, blessed be He — [unclear] the Holy One, blessed be He, judging and sentencing him. And this is the way, with Hashem's help. That is all, tzaddikim. I greatly enjoyed being with you.

1:35:38 [unclear] the hosts — good tidings, [unclear]. May you succeed; be joyful. 'Give thanks to Hashem, for He is good!' Beautiful. '[unclear] to Hashem, for He is good!' '[unclear] to Hashem...' Yes? Did you enjoy it? Mordechai.

1:36:03 With Hashem's help. Of Mordechai the Jew, too, it is written, 'and accepted by most of his brethren,' at the end of Megillas Esther. It is not written 'by all his brethren'; it is written 'by most of his brethren.' 'By most of his brethren.' Mordechai the Jew — 'accepted by most of his brethren.' Don't always expect to be pleasing to everyone; don't always expect to be accepted by everyone — not by the wife at home either, nor by this shidduch, nor by that shidduch. So sometimes one has to know how to get along with everyone. Mordechai the Jew — 'accepted by most of his brethren.'

1:36:31 Learn from this. Be strong! Good tidings, a good year, a good life, good tidings, chag sameach, and may you be only in joy, always. - Why is the mikveh on erev Shabbos halachah? - Why? Why? No — it is a matter of piety, piety. Today, the mikveh — in Tractate Bava Kamma, page 82, the enactment of Ezra the Scribe about the mikveh is immersion — all ba'alei keri (those who had an emission), all those who [unclear].

1:37:10 Today, as halachah, in our days — what the Beis Yosef brought about the immersion of erev Yom Kippur, where the custom is to recite the blessing 'Who has sanctified us with His mitzvos and commanded us concerning immersion' — we do not recite a blessing on this immersion of erev Yom Kippur. We do not recite it, as halachah — in the name of Rav Saadiah Gaon — we do not recite it today, as halachah; and there is no halachic obligation of the mikveh. There is no obligation. You are not halachically obligated to immerse. Not obligated. Nothing. There is no obligation today that you...

1:37:35 There is no halachic obligation, no. Rabbi Yaakov of Marvège, in Responsa Min HaShamayim, siman 3, brought that the immersion — the chazzanim who do not immerse — this holds back the geulah. It holds back the geulah that they are not careful about the mikveh. But there is a very great virtue in the mikveh — to immerse every...

1:38:01 'And they went three days in the wilderness and found no water' — to be careful to immerse three times a week. 'They went three days in the wilderness and found no water.' For — that they should read — in Bava Kamma, page 82, they also made an enactment about the Torah reading, that we read the Torah on Monday, Thursday and Shabbos. For Moshe Rabbeinu enacted for us that we have the Torah reading — [unclear] — the whole enactment of the Sages, who came and made it an obligation of the congregation for us, which is the Torah reading. Why?

1:38:26 Because of 'they went three days in the wilderness and found no water' — Monday, Thursday, Shabbos. So you immerse — either once a week, or twice a week, or three times a week, or every day. The greatest virtue is every day. You can't manage every day... It adds kedushah; it adds purity to a person. The holy [unclear] would immerse every time after he came out of the bathroom, to such an extent — he would hover during his prayer. The mikveh — the holy Baal Shem Tov said that everything he attained, from one end of the world [unclear], was through the mikveh.

1:38:52 Rabbi Mordechai of Chernobyl once said — in the sefer [unclear] — he once said that whoever came in to him without immersion — he sees everything that he did, [unclear]. If he immerses, he sees nothing. [unclear] People don't feel it — 'I don't feel it.' Rabbeinu the Ari would [unclear] a person and recognize it on his forehead. 'I don't feel it' — the great ones feel it. [unclear] I recommend to you — look, regarding the mikveh, I recommend: there are the kavanos of the mikveh that I composed.

1:39:23 I recommend to you: get hold of it. It is also in the shiurim, orally — it is in the shiurim. It is in the shiurim — I don't know which shiur it is, but there are some shiurim. Yes, there are kavanos for the mikveh. And also — not everything is found in... There are many shiurim that you will need to take from here — things like that, shiurim.

1:39:47 Things that were written, writings. There is also a small kuntres on the mikveh. Try to get it. You want to learn? Whoever knows — there are also those here who do it by heart; they can teach you. - Rav, these are levels of holy people; I don't feel it. - The Kohanim would immerse, right? One does not serve the Holy One, blessed be He, in order to feel something. One serves. - Perhaps it is possible to [unclear] someone who knows? - It is a matter of piety. We serve; we accept the halachos; we do not look to feel something. We accept [unclear].

1:40:17 - Rav, is it possible in a pool? - In a pool — [unclear] a pool. Regarding immersion in a pool: in Responsa Ginas Veradim, part 4, siman 4, the author of Ginas Veradim, a Rav in Egypt, writes that it helps to become pure from the impurity of keri only, but it does not help for the additional [unclear]. The impurity of keri — to become pure from the impurity of keri. For if you want to receive the addition of Shabbos, or the immersion of the festival of Shavuos, that one receives — it does not help for that.

1:40:45 - Rav, does one see a difference between a person who immersed and a person who did not immerse, if it is added kedushah? - Yes, one sees. If a person sees — [unclear]. [unclear] — a good year, a good life, good tidings, and to be in joy always. - A question, a question, a question.