Why are Some Adult Jews Secretly Leaving Orthodox Judaism?

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

I think this is a real problem. A lot of people don't really figure out who they are before they get married. And as life happens, they need to figure it out afterwards because when difficulties arise, you have to be you dealing with them in some way. Or you have two people that now have to learn how to actually have a real relationship. And if you don't know who you are and then you start and you're figuring out afterwards, there's a lot of change happening. Change is fine. Change is wonderful. But the other person didn't marry that new person. They didn't sign up for this. And you have two people who are both developing and changing often in different directions because this is the first time they're actually sort of free enough to try to be themselves and they're kind of trying to figure it out now. And the result is that they don't feel like they're in a relationship with somebody that they can be in a relationship with. This episode was long time coming. Elisheva sits down with Dr. Yosef so a clinical psychologist who we were connected to because he teaches at Touro and he's put in years of research to help discover what's actually going on in the orthodox community why people secretly leave when they age and perhaps the most important question that every person needs to ask themselves. I sat in the background for this

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00I think this is a real problem. A lot of people don't really figure out who…
2. 6:32they're able to conform in other ways that are don't don't stop them from being themselves.…
3. 12:30commitments we had. And I guess the most serious commitment being the the marital relationship. I…
4. 18:22too hard for them and they just decide I don't want to do this anymore. When…
5. 24:04flip side, some people will say that they rebel against everything that their parents raised them…
6. 32:32listen and you're willing to respect the direction that that they're really want to go in.…
7. 38:19which comes with perils. It is wonderful and also means that we have it's much easier…
8. 44:15you're the main character of your own future. Also what I often happen when I talk…
9. 49:59but at least there were people who thought it might be helpful, which listen, like you…
10. 55:50together for a coffee at some point? I I want to hear how you're doing. Feel…

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