When I Nurture My Struggling Child, How Will It Affect the Others?

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi YY Jacobson’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

with all of you today is the basic issue of the family unit even if you follow everything all of the advice of real experts who are sensitive and empathetic and understand the situation and understand the consequences you're doing it all you didn't you do what you do with messier snefish and you do it with conviction and with commitment and with love and you have a support system so you're really doing everything right but you have another six children you have another eight children you have another two children some parents some families have one struggling child some have a few struggling children sometimes there are children who are so to speak following the trajectory that you plan for all the children and that balance is often extremely difficult both in terms of yourself in terms of your spouse in terms of the children themselves and then there there's the whole other element which has to do with often that there's very little support there's a lot of shame there's stigma there are neighbors there's always an uncle who knows better some of you are lucky to have mothers who give you perfect advice some of you are lucky to have fathers who are clueless some of you are lucky to have other people who tell you how wrong you're doing things especially when you invite that person for shabbos you ever had that and sunday morning your shiver or shrieker or somebody else says i have to have a meeting with you you know that meeting they sit down with you at the meeting and they look at you and they tell you how much they care for you and then they give you unbelievable genius advice they tell you that you should tell your 17 year old daughter that in this house

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1. 0:34with all of you today is the basic issue of the family unit even if you…
2. 6:16to address this question we have to come to terms with the basic fundamental principle that…
3. 12:39surah and do this that's not possible that's not doable so people say to us you…
4. 18:56i'll be honest i think i would have been judgmental and about guys and as on…
5. 25:23their spirits and their neshamas by watching you that will come out later in their lives…
6. 31:47systemic in the family comes along yankees 15 and he goes off and then the next…
7. 38:11and told him told me it doesn't matter what you're doing but you and your wife…
8. 44:38we spoke about this when we did that program about the three changes that i felt…
9. 51:10and the parents and the kids are watching you don't think they're not watching you trust…
10. 57:28was like connected person you know people came covering him and um so we decided i…

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