The Yanuka Rav Shlomo Yehuda-תשובה מאהבה הגאון הינוקא בשיחה מיוחד לאחר תפילת שחרית של ערב כיפור

3:02 Don't make it hard on yourselves. I saw that the weather here, baruch Hashem, is good weather, but still — don't strain yourselves. And what I am coming to say is that at times — joy, and something of purity. On this day — because the very essence of the day atones — we reach such a level of joy, of such great closeness before Hashem, blessed be He. Precisely at this time — this is the time to do teshuvah.

3:27 I'll give you a parable, too, of what this is like. A parable: now, for example, I say to each one — now — that the Holy One, blessed be He, says to us — one moment, here is a simpler parable. Let's say a parable — a parable of a king, yes? A parable of a king who says to all the people of his country: 'All the years, I tell you: do before me, build before me' — every country, every place, has its building laws.

3:57 Each one has his place and his field, and the place where he is permitted to grow his crops, and he has a certain area; for more than that he must submit a request to the king to build more, as there is today. Today you have the possibility of building: you want to, you apply for a permit, you are allowed to build, and so on. So at that time the king says — once a year the king comes, and suddenly he says to his people: 'Whatever you want to build — you have 24 hours to build; build whatever you want.

4:25 Do it, build — and without permits. What you built on this day, you built; what you did not build — look now to another time that I will give you for it.' It is exactly the same thing. 'For on this day He shall atone for you' — for these guilts. Because if, during the year, you want to atone, to repair, to do things — exert yourself, toil, say much before Me, do, try to rise — it takes a great, great deal, a great time of favor. But on this day, whatever you do — it will all pass before Me. 'For on this day He shall atone for you.'

4:53 Here, on this day, I pardon you, I forgive you, I remove — 'and removes our guilt each and every year.' And then you see that on this day the mercy of the Holy One, blessed be He, is revealed. And so we do much teshuvah on this day. And so this day is the light of King David. It is the secret of teshuvah that is revealed to King David, because teshuvah is the highest place; it is the highest illumination. It means that a person draws the greatest mercy, the highest light, into his heart.

5:19 And it is over the heart that the Vidui is said; it is done with the fist: one strikes beneath the heart, like this, in this way, like a fist, and the thumb is put out and bent, and one strikes beneath the chest — the left breast, where the heart is — and one strikes like this, beneath. That is the place for the striking: exactly beneath the left side of the chest, the area of the heart, beneath it; and one strikes in this way. And so these blows — they cause the expelling of all — 'and his iniquities shall be upon his bones.'

5:50 The inner sins that are rooted within the root, our inner being — they come out through the striking of the heart, and the lights and the kindnesses return and rise upward. That is, there is an illumination from above to below that works through teshuvah — the illumination of teshuvah. And so, pay attention: in Tractate Kiddushin, page 49, the Gemara says — what does the Gemara say? 'She is betrothed — perhaps he had a thought of teshuvah in his heart' — 'perhaps he had a thought of teshuvah in his da'as' — in his mind.

6:17 Right? There is an enormous difference here. What is the difference? Why this wording of the Gemara? What is 'She is betrothed — perhaps he had a thought of teshuvah in his da'as'? Say 'perhaps he had a thought of teshuvah in his heart'! Does a person do teshuvah in the da'as? Doesn't a person do teshuvah in the heart? What is the connection between teshuvah and da'as? A person's teshuvah is in the heart.

6:41 Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya, who placed his head between his knees and wept aloud — he had a thought of teshuvah in his heart; that is teshuvah in the heart, which wins this for a person. How? - He had a thought of the lower teshuvah. The Rav explained that da'as is the lower teshuvah. - Right. - That was an act for which even the lower teshuvah is enough. - Nice. - That he repair the da'as, so that he does not go back to the sin. - Right. The answer you are giving is really what I explained last time; it is very true.

7:11 But I — how do I say it each time — I always say, 'One goes up in holiness and does not go down': each time, a different explanation comes into my heart. Today a different explanation came into my heart. Why? The explanation there is correct, but a different explanation came into my heart. When we look into the statement 'She is betrothed — perhaps he had a thought of teshuvah in his da'as' — well, according to one's grasp of the greatness of Hashem, blessed be He, a person ought, each time, to do a far greater teshuvah than the last time.

7:36 That is teshuvah upon teshuvah. That is, he must reach such a great level that today he grasps the greatness of the Holy One, blessed be He, far more than he grasped it the last time, last year. It follows that, since today I understand far more of the greatness of the Holy One, blessed be He, it counts before me as a sin — how, last year, I did a teshuvah that was far lesser, before the King.

8:00 Today I understand that the King is greater. Last year I thought He rules over a hundred countries. This year I see that He rules over three hundred countries, and I see that His power is mighty and strong over the sea and the dry land. Last year I thought His power was over the dry land and part of the sea. This year I suddenly understand this might of His — so the teshuvah is greater. That is why: 'She is betrothed — perhaps he had a thought of teshuvah in his da'as.' Only — when do you come to true teshuvah?

8:24 When do you come to the true teshuvah? When you understand, in your da'as, the greatness of the One you sinned against. You understand, as it were, how terrible, how dreadful and terrible your sin is — how you dared to anger a great, awesome and exalted King. That is why the angels call the Holy One, blessed be He — they call Him 'Melech Aluv,' the King who bears insult. That is what they call the Holy One, blessed be He. And in Tomer Devorah, in the first chapter, our master the Ramak explains that the angels call the Holy One, blessed be He, 'the King who bears insult.' Why 'the King who bears insult'?

8:50 What is the reason for 'the King who bears insult'? Because the Holy One, blessed be He, gives a person life, and it was in His power to wither his arms, his hands, just as He withered the hand of Yeravam ben Nevat, who said 'Seize him!' about Iddo the prophet, and his hand withered. And at the very moment that the Holy One, blessed be He, gives a person vitality and gives him life and sustains him — then he is 'Yeshurun grew fat and kicked.' He asks, 'Is Hashem among us or not?' — he asks questions about the Holy One, blessed be He. Precisely in the moments when a person sins against the Holy One, blessed be He, and makes light of the Holy One, blessed be He — He could kill him at that very moment.

9:22 He could be angry and wrathful and wipe him out of the world. And with all that, the Holy One, blessed be He — what He does is that the Holy One, blessed be He, gives him life, and puts into him strength, vitality and hope, and still waits for him, for the day he will return. So what must a person reflect on in his da'as? He must reflect in his da'as on that moment when he sinned, that he dared at all to be brazen before Hashem — on the greatness of the One who spoke and the world came to be, so great and awesome — and how at that moment he was brazen against the King.

9:51 That there is such a great King — then he weighs it in his da'as: 'How did I do this terrible thing, this criminal thing, before a great, awesome and mighty King, powerful, and so on.' And so this is the meaning of the Gemara in Kiddushin 49, in the second chapter: 'She is betrothed — perhaps he had a thought of teshuvah in his da'as' — it is fitting for you to do a far greater teshuvah after you sinned against the greatness of the One who spoke and the world came to be. This is one more new explanation; each time we come up with different explanations, but the earlier explanation is also the correct explanation; it is only that each time we always love to bring something new — each time we will see something new.

10:22 There is no beis midrash without something new. - But the Baal Shem Tov's parable is that through the cleaning one comes to joy. The Rav said that through joy one comes to teshuvah. - The cause of teshuvah is joy. After all, 'strength and gladness are in His place.' You cannot serve the Holy One, blessed be He, in sadness and in sorrow, and carry out this mitzvah. As the Rambam writes at the end of the Laws of Lulav: 'Because you did not serve Hashem your G-d with joy and gladness of heart.' It is a thing that is all joy.

10:49 - So it is not specifically in teshuvah; it is in every mitzvah. - In every mitzvah, but especially in teshuvah. Why in teshuvah? Now, in the secret of teshuvah, you have the privilege of drawing near to the King. Until now you were far. Come — you have a gift. That is why the sin is far greater when a person is brazen. Kayin did not know the secret of teshuvah. If Kayin had known the secret of teshuvah, if Adam HaRishon had known the secret of teshuvah, each one would have done more teshuvah. After all, Adam HaRishon had not yet grasped the secret of teshuvah in its fullness.

11:15 He did do teshuvah. They all did teshuvah, Adam HaRishon too — but Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai dwelt at length on the sin of Adam HaRishon, until Adam HaRishon appeared to him and said to him: 'Enough of your speaking of my sin.' Rabbi Shimon, as it were, grasped — he spoke much about the sin of Adam HaRishon. Adam HaRishon does teshuvah, they all do teshuvah — we are not going into the kinds of teshuvah they entered into — but at the root, to grasp the inner essence of teshuvah, the one who merited to draw teshuvah down, to understand it and to reach the true fullness of teshuvah — which is the supplications, his pleading — is King David.

11:49 And he rectified the sin of Adam HaRishon. That is why there are the 930 and the further 70 — a thousand years — that Adam HaRishon left him; he rectified the root of the sin of Adam HaRishon. That is the teshuvah, the confessions that he made. Now, yes? Each one grasped an aspect of a small teshuvah, but the complete, the superior teshuvah was grasped by King David, who came afterward to rectify all the created beings and the whole stature that was before him. Whereas Adam HaRishon, who had not yet merited to understand what the foundation of teshuvah is — and in Midrash Shocher Tov, section 92, it is written that darkness fell; after he sinned on Erev Shabbos, darkness fell, and then he was afraid, on Motza'ei Shabbos.

12:25 And now it had come — what is happening here? In the places of darkness. So the Holy One, blessed be He, prepared the stones for him, and he struck them one against the other; that was— that fire was created on Motza'ei Shabbos, according to the view that fire was created on Motza'ei Shabbos; that is why with fire, too… since it was created on Motza'ei Shabbos. But the secret of teshuvah is that Shabbos arrived, on Erev Shabbos, and Shabbos protected Adam HaRishon, for he was afraid.

12:51 Suddenly Shabbos arrived, and Shabbos guarded him. And then what did he say? 'A psalm, a song for the Shabbos day.' Here, Shabbos came and protected me. So Shabbos is the secret of teshuvah. Shabbos is from the word 'to return', like 'Shabbasa' — Shabbos. It is as if there was a secret here of a kind of teshuvah, which brought him back. There was a kind of teshuvah here. And Kayin too, who was like that, as a sign — certainly that is a secret of teshuvah; it is like the secret of tefillin. But when we speak of teshuvah — the superior kind, the teshuvah in which a person humbles himself, his body and his soul — if they had known this, the secret of teshuvah that David grasped: to truly confess, to plead, to fall down before Hashem — had Adam HaRishon done that,

13:28 and had Kayin done that, then, as it were, that is, everything would have risen to its root far more rectified, back then, in those places, rather than our descending to the places we descended to. And so today, the further down we go, and we — 'and You desired praise from clods of earth, from those formed of clay', the piyut of Rosh Hashanah that we say — it is precisely from us that the Holy One, blessed be He, desires it, as we are down below now, at the end of the exiles, down below, and we merit, in the footsteps of Mashiach, to do teshuvah, then, on the contrary, we raise all the sparks upward, and all the Jewish people; and all bring all to the secret of the supernal teshuvah, the open Eye, the Eye that neither slumbers nor sleeps — there it will happen. And then it is said: 'his heart lifted his feet',

14:10 in the joy of Yaakov Avinu and Yosef when they met, he and his son. What does it mean that he fell on his neck? And as it is explained, he was occupied with reciting the Shema. How — the Shema? Your son, you have not seen him, and you—? The secret of the revelation — he had been hidden from you — and you? You are in the middle of the Shema, of all things? Rather, it is to show you that Yaakov Avinu says: I was not looking for the child. I was not looking for that. I worried for him, that he had not fallen into captivity.

14:34 I worried for him, that perhaps he was not crowning the Holy One, blessed be He. I worried that this child had not sinned, and that I had not brought into the world a soul that went on to corrupt and ruin, against Heaven. He was occupied with the Shema; he was occupied — when he met the child, he did teshuvah; he was altogether returning to the Holy One, blessed be He. As if this whole meeting was: now I am returning; I have done complete teshuvah, that my offspring did not fall, Heaven forbid. So, as it were, it is all entirely about returning to the Holy One, blessed be He. 'I considered my ways and turned my feet back to Your testimonies.'

15:02 That is what King David says: we make our reckonings for our way in the world — what shall we do: we will have children, we will marry. But 'I turned my feet back' — the whole aim must always be, the children too, 'and you shall teach them to your sons' — in everything we do in the world, it must advance and sanctify the person, to reach the true purpose, to come before the Holy King, to rise and be uplifted each time, and not to settle on any level. You are always to do teshuvah upon teshuvah upon teshuvah upon teshuvah upon teshuvah upon teshuvah. And therefore Yaakov Avinu — he has to do this, after he had been in such sorrow, and he feared for Yosef, who had disappeared. But what is the root of the fear? Was this the fear of a father

15:37 who worried about his son, that he had gone off somewhere? But he was afraid. He said: my crown, the son of Rachel, my beloved Rachel, who was so precious that he worked for her and toiled for her, in the secret of the 14, right? How long did Yaakov toil for Rachel? How much did it come to there? Fourteen years. Right? Seven and seven. What is 14? - David? - Is that a question? It is the answer.

16:03 How do you say 'Mashiach'? Ben David. You await the geulah, you await teshuvah, that will bring back that same kingship of King David. King David grasped teshuvah in its fullness. He is the one who did teshuvah in its fullness, he is the one who raised — in the end he raised them all. He established teshuvah, and he did it all. So this secret of David — of Yaakov Avinu: all that he strove for Rachel was in order to see what would come out — what would come out of this.

16:29 So what came out? Yosef. He was glad. He made him the striped coat; he rejoiced in him; he said: here is the kingship — from here will come the one who brings back in teshuvah. He knew that Yosef was a tzaddik. 'The sea saw and fled' — before the coffin of Yosef HaTzaddik it split for the Jewish people. He knew that with this holiness of the covenant, this was surely a tzaddik. Now suddenly this tzaddik disappeared — so what did Yaakov Avinu fear? About where he had gone? Whether there was a flaw in his offspring. So what did he do? And when the brothers stood around Yaakov's bed, they said to him: 'Shema Yisrael — in our hearts there is only One.' So what do you think — that there is a flaw in us?

17:00 So what did Yaakov say to them, what did he say — and what was Yaakov doing at the moment he met him, on his neck? As it says: he was simply reciting the Shema. That is, here too there was no room at all to think there was any supposition that I was thinking about a child who had lost his father. No — I was occupied with the Shema and with accepting the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven — that there is no flaw in my offspring. It is all a revelation of G-dliness; I see nothing else. I always worried about the kingship of the King, that there be no blemish in my offspring.

17:25 I did true and complete teshuvah. But now, when he saw him, he fell on his neck. And what is 'his neck'? 'Your neck is like the tower of ivory', 'built with turrets' — the Beis HaMikdash, the Holy Temple. He was looking from afar at the Temple. He was asking for the geulah altogether, and he sees the true teshuvah that will come in the future, when there will be a revelation of the Kingdom of Heaven. So they could already see Mashiach then. That is the task of all of us. How great.

17:51 Had there also been no sins among the Jewish people, it would have been limited. 'On that day the iniquity of Israel shall be sought, and there shall be none.' The transgression, the gravest sin, is that we do not do teshuvah. The sin itself, in any case — from Heaven they see that there was an excuse, and physical matter. But why did you not ask forgiveness? Why do we not do teshuvah? And had there not been the descent of the Jewish people, you would not have received the prophecy.

18:19 Perhaps what there was — the prophecies, the exiles — they brought us the prophets. They in fact brought the revelation of the G-dliness of the Torah. Every sin, every transgression, every distancing of the Jewish people from their Father in Heaven brought them a prophet who turned their hearts back to Heaven, and brought them more Torah, and revealed more G-dliness in them. That is, however far they descended, there was always an ascent, there was always a Tikkun. But the sin and the transgression is: why do you not do teshuvah for having sinned against the King?

18:46 Gather up what you dirtied and what you spoiled. - But how does that become a merit? - Amen. How does that become a merit? When a person makes his teshuvah for the past, he understands the greatness of the One who spoke and the world came to be; he brings back all the times. What is teshuvah? Teshuvah means to return to the true root, in which, altogether, not only I was — my root, and my fathers, and my fathers' fathers, and my gilgulim, and Adam HaRishon himself will return to before his sin.

19:21 As it were, to bring everything back. 'Though your beginning was small, your end shall grow very great.' That is said in Iyov, but you can interpret it about many things. What is it to be interpreted about? I interpret it about the sin of Adam HaRishon. 'Your beginning was small' — that is, you were created and you sinned. You were created and you sinned. 'Your beginning' — this is a new insight; some time we will hold a shiur on it. 'Your beginning was small': you were created and you sinned.

19:46 You were created and you sinned — 'your beginning was small': as soon as you were created, at once you sinned. But 'your end shall grow very great' — for in the end you will be rectified, and 'on that day the iniquity of Israel shall be sought, and there shall be none', and then you will have a Tikkun and an ascent, and then Adam HaRishon will be rectified for you. So that is greater. So 'your beginning was small, and your end shall grow very great' — for in the end Adam HaRishon will be rectified, and everything will come to its place in peace, for the whole stature of the Shechinah will be rectified, and all of it through teshuvah. So is it better after the sin, or before that sin? Better that there come an ascent and a Tikkun.

20:15 - Rav — teshuvah, Yisrael. Teshuvah, Yisrael. - Keep on with it still, keep on, with Hashem's help. As I said: to consult a halachic authority, a Torah scholar and a doctor together — everyone who needs to check, about relatives, family members, parents, sisters, relatives, people — someone who is ill, something dangerous — and not to act pious and fast.

20:44 That is a pious fool. It has to be checked, and you will be surprised to hear that with many illnesses, cases like these, people are permitted to drink in measured amounts, and really to ask — of course — a Torah scholar and a doctor, but not to be stringent on oneself, with a person deciding about himself. For there was a man, ill with a disease, who said he wants to fast, and it is forbidden for him — a doctor told him it is forbidden — because if he fasts, then perhaps Hashem will heal him, in that way — and it is teshuvah and all that — and he must not fast.

21:12 But it is not for everyone; for each one it is his own case. This is not a general practice; it is a practice for each individual: to ask a halachic authority, a Torah scholar, and to check with a doctor, one who fears Heaven, to consult, to see what kind of illness he has, and with Hashem's help, may they all have a complete recovery. And of course, to get ready. I recommend that everyone go and drink water. To start drinking water, of course, from now, to store up plenty of fluids and drink water, to store up, with joy. - May one take [unclear]?

21:42 - Yes, one may; only check — always, with things like these. But simply, I would recommend that a person behave naturally before such a thing — unless his own condition is known — but it is better that a person behave naturally and come to understand that there is virtue in this, there is virtue in the affliction — that it is hard for a person. The whole virtue is the fast, the fasting itself. I think that goes for each person; but one who needs to function, and could come to danger, Heaven forbid, or come to harm — that is certainly a matter of its own.

22:16 But I recommend to everyone to eat well now, to drink — and it is as if one fasted on the ninth and the tenth. Make use of it, and take it to the highest place. I take my leave of you, and I ask forgiveness of you all. And judge me always favorably — me too, judge favorably — and then I will judge everyone favorably. He calls me — I did not manage here, I did not manage, and did not hear — but I am here… - The Rav said that the Rav thinks of everyone.

22:51 - There is no need for favorable judgment. In thought, it is everyone. You know, you hear someone from here, and someone from here, and someone from here, or you have just turned that way, and just then this happens, and just then that — but in thought it is all of them, so that includes everything. - The Rav's thought includes everything. We need to ask forgiveness, Rav. We need to ask forgiveness for all the disturbances, for all the commotion, for everything — we did not show enough respect, we did not speak as one should. Here one must ask forgiveness.

23:21 We — who are we at all, to be standing here? - We love you, we pray for you, and we ask that Hashem grant you good, love you, and seal your year for the good, upon us and upon you — that we give nachas ruach to the Holy One, blessed be He, that we bring you good tidings, salvations. A good year to everyone, wherever they are, to all the Jewish people, salvations for everyone, a good year and a good sealing. May Hashem, blessed be He, have mercy on us and save us. A good year and a good sealing, and all good, with good bounty.

23:48 Amen, amen, amen. Ah, teshuvah is...