Our Family, Our Strength - Principle #17: How to Reprimand - Rabbi Yirmiyahu Abramov

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The opening of this shiur, in Hidabroot - Torah & Judaism’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

you shall we continue the twenty five basic principles of Jewish child rearing based on the book our family our strength we are now in principle number 17 like everything there are guidelines and laws and principles how we do things certainly how do we reprimand now of course reprimand is an integral part of educating especially when a child is growing up and exploring and sometimes doing wrong things sometimes doing things that require reprimand that require sanction there are ways to reprimand if we want this reprimand to be taken seriously then we've got to do it in a very very specific manner so I find that there five major conditions to effect a reprimand and the good way of remembering them are the 5 c's each word begins with a see I'll tell you what they are and we'll discuss them do it calmly calm concise clear current and with compassion now let's discuss them all first one when you're reprimanding a child never reprimand him when you're angry if you do it from anger the child will focus on the anger rather than on the content of the of the reprimand something happened now and he walks in and that parent is flaming angry and from a great position of anger he will probably exaggerated the reprimand he'll probably create tremendous resentment he'll move the focus away from the real issue so therefore when you reprimanding the most important thing is do it calmly now if we incapable of being of calm reprimand on the spot then go and cool down maybe you gonna reprimand the next day maybe go up to the child nas's that

Jump to a moment

1. 0:04you shall we continue the twenty five basic principles of Jewish child rearing based on the…
2. 0:38educating especially when a child is growing up and exploring and sometimes doing wrong things sometimes…
3. 1:09remembering them are the 5 c's each word begins with a see I'll tell you what…
4. 1:41something happened now and he walks in and that parent is flaming angry and from a…
5. 2:45principle we must be calm when we reprimand number two is concise there's no purpose of…
6. 3:15that they really again here's an exaggeration this is way beyond what was demanded over here…
7. 3:50in short-term be absolutely precise and be absolutely clear as to what is the issue that…
8. 4:56don't always do this why are they saying why are they talking about the past let's…
9. 5:31the one hand and if necessary punish with other hand but you've got to do it…
10. 6:01very much but this is totally unacceptable behavior so you showing the compassion let the child…

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