The Secret Reason Some Couples Feel Lonely in Marriage

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Shais Taub’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

One of the great pains that a person can experience is to feel lonely in a marriage. In principle at least, a marriage is supposed to be not only a relationship but an intimate relationship or perhaps the quintessential intimate relationship. And then to feel less than that or even the opposite of that to feel disconnected, isolated is incredibly painful for uh for anyone who experiences it. Now there are many many reasons why that can be your situation don't even I think most people don't even know this is a thing is when there is a not lack of compatibility like you're thinking of lack of compatibility like you know uh I want to go for uh pizza and you want to go for Chinese food that's not what I mean lack of compatibility what I mean is two people are wired differently wired training neurologically. Okay? I'm not a doctor, not a a neurologist, not a psychiatrist. So, everything I'm saying here when I use words like neurological wiring, I I mean it in the most colloquial sense, but what I mean is this. Listen, we all know that different people are wired differently as far as like the types of things they pick up on. Some people are more, let's say, linguistically gifted. Other people struggle with words. Some people have like an artistic eye where they they are very keen with with with aesthetics. Other people are clueless about that

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00One of the great pains that a person can experience is to feel lonely in a…
2. 2:33ESP, right? But then like along with that is this incredible sensitivity to like I can't…
3. 4:36so they have completely different and it's not just enough that you're talking about a man…
4. 6:42a screwdriver. And the guy asked for a hammer and he would hand him a screwdriver…
5. 8:46fully woken up." Okay, that's now I just gave an example where the um I haven't…
6. 10:48I'm ramming a bunch of useless, weird information down your throat, and I don't even care…
7. 12:51and you're feeling super lonely because you don't understand why this other person doesn't do normal…
8. 14:53Hashem, God Almighty, in his infinite wisdom, makes matches and he puts people together. And you…
9. 16:56other person has been making attempts to connect to you and that you can then start…
10. 18:57exhausted, disappointed, probably very disappointed with herself. You want to connect with her. You say that…

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