Is It Really The Kids... Or The Parenting?

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

Hi, this is David Alansky with our question and answer series where in a few minutes we try to answer listeners' questions. Chaim W writes, "Hi, thank you so much for your thoughtful common sense approach to Yiddishkeit and its practical life application. After listening to the Q&A, I went back and listened to episode 302 and I perceived that the issue of children not being respectful to their elders does not come from the children innately being bad people, but rather from the being bad people, but rather from the lack of education they would received. They were never told no. If we as parents allow our children at age two to take control of our lives, how can we expect to have a healthy control of their lives when they're older? So, while it's true that this is a more challenging generation, there's still something we are meant to do to make our children with the correct values from when they are young and still learning the world. It may be harder than previous generations where it came more naturally, it's still the utmost naturally, it's still the utmost importance to show them that the parents are boss and that with me at Hashem, you won't have the issue with your children never heard no. So, okay. Here's the problem. By the way, you definitely right. You should definitely try to to as much as you can and a person should not throw up their hands and and give up. No, absolutely [clears throat] not. But here's the problem. The problem is that all chinuch throughout history was based on an assumption. I am the parent and you are the child and I tell you what to do and you

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00Hi, this is David Alansky with our question and answer series where in a few minutes…
2. 0:30being bad people, but rather from the lack of education they would received. They were never…
3. 1:01naturally, it's still the utmost importance to show them that the parents are boss and that…
4. 1:31and I tell you what to do and you listen. That that the society destroyed that.…
5. 2:01that you have credibility. And so, when they're very little, okay, they'll listen to their mommy…
6. 3:01So, you have to work very hard to establish credibility with your children. >> [snorts] >>…
7. 3:31regrets having written the column, but he says one time he got really crazy. He started…
8. 4:01and they understand we have their best interest in mind and we work on it. So,…
9. 4:32loudly. I mean, obviously, their safety comes first. But you have to be very careful because…
10. 5:02So, yes, should you just say, "Well, I give up"? Absolutely not. You have an obligation.…

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