Empowering our Children to be Indepedent Thinkers and to Make their Own Decisions

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Yisroel Roll’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

good evening and welcome to our resilient parenting support group for all parents from all walks of life learning techniques and strategies of how to teach our children to be self-confident to have self-esteem and to be resilient this will also help us not burn out at the same time until now we've been discussing different ways to manage our children different ways to manage our children to get them to cooperate giving them emotional support getting them not to fight conflict resolution this is called management when our children are from the age of zero to 12 let's say 12 or 13 we are called upon to be micro managers when they're small it's a lot of micromanagement getting dressed feeding them preparing them for school washing their clothes washing their hair their hair bath time moving them along a lot of micromanagement a lot of pressure getting them dressed changing their clothes changing diapers a lot of pressure on us micromanagement as they get older and they can get dressed for themselves from the age of five six and seven onward till 12 then we are less micromanaging but we are still managers when the children turn 12 and 13 and 14 and become teenagers and become teenagers then our role changes very hard for us to let go of that management role because we feel that we're responsible for them to get it right but the role does change and it's better for us and for the child if we take on a new role when they become teenagers and that's called consultant we become consultants where we advise when they ask for advice we encourage we motivate but we don't micromanage anymore

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00good evening and welcome to our resilient parenting support group for all parents from all walks…
2. 3:06dependent on us in their teenage years as they move toward training toward becoming married and…
3. 6:40an opportunity they have a right perhaps even an obligation to make a choice so rachel…
4. 9:45to make choices in marriage and in career and in adulthood and what they want to…
5. 13:18stepping back letting them make their own papers make their own b or c rather than…
6. 16:23and we have to be positive and encouraging independence with it with with children and not…
7. 19:59welcome home i'm just thinking how i feel when i hear those questions when the parent…
8. 23:04can have an opinion let's try another one why does grandma visit us every week because…
9. 26:42i don't want to i don't need to be disappointed why try to lead when you…
10. 29:49so in these examples we have a struggle an internal struggle within ourselves we want to…

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