Empower Your Future to Protect their Future - Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Hidabroot - Torah & Judaism’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

The title of the talk is empower your future to protect their future. It's a bit vague. Uh so I decided to talk about what I thought were some of the underlying issues that lead to these things instead of just the usual abuse prevention stuff that I've done here a number of times. But you heard a little bit about what Amudam does and why Amudam is here. In a very similar way, sadly, I want to tell you a little bit about what led me to become a mental health professional. I was in my early 20s, yeshiva guy, in a yeshiva that had an affiliated high school for at-risk youth. And informally, the yeshiva guys were sort of set up with as chavrusas or mentors for these high school kids. I was set up with one fellow in particular. He was high 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. He woke up in the morning, the first thing he did was get high. Before he went to bed, he made sure to get high. That was the presenting issue. Underneath it was more complex. In one of the few lucid conversations I ever had with him, he shared with me that despite being an exceptional talent in his Yeshiva having memorized vast amounts of Torah Shebaal Peh by and cannot all of Torah Shebaal Shebiksav Baal Peh he still felt like a failure. A disappointment. Particularly to his father. He was a very critical man. And his mother stood by.

Jump to a moment

1. 0:23The title of the talk is empower your future to protect their future. It's a bit…
2. 4:31It was one of the things amongst many factors that led me to realize that there…
3. 9:13really much to do with him, no real interest in his emotional well-being, making him incredibly…
4. 13:45expectations. So we expect three-year-olds to be able to control themselves and not have angry outbursts.…
5. 18:22the reality. Because eventually, they're going to figure out, "No, there's a kid on that ball…
6. 23:03criticize somebody, a colleague, a worker, how many times do you think about how to say…
7. 27:42eyes, putting aside our expectations and our thoughts and trying to see what is it that…
8. 32:19society is the paradox of shidduchim. So, when trying to do well for our kids, and…
9. 36:56away. They they make a big deal about these things. They get carried away. So, they…
10. 41:34in so many other areas. And now she's incredibly close with her sons and her daughters,…

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