Nitzavim — A Crazy Deal

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Shais Taub’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

guy walks into a bar it's not a joke why are you laughing already notice what you have course it's a joke a guy walks into a bar and he he says I'll have a shot of whiskey and the bartender pours him a shot the guy drinks it and the bartender says that'll be five dollars so he says no nobody told my five dollars I said I'll have a shot of whiskey I did not mention remuneration in our oral contract you put the shot on the bar contract you put the shot on the bar clearly you were giving it to me for free so he says no no that's not what I had in mind is well you didn't specify so there's another guy at the bar there he says you know I happen to be a contract lawyer and technically he's right so the bartender says the guy okay you scammed me out of a free drink good for you congratulations but you're banned for life enjoy it because you never I'm never serving you again so the guy takes a shot walks out of the bar guy takes a shot walks out of the bar next day he walks in walks up to the bar the bartender says buddy you're banned for life he says what are you talking about I don't know what I don't know what you have no idea what I'm talking about about about a ban I've never been here before the bartender says Wow then you must have a double he says exactly two scotches you got it doubled okay it's a pun anyways speaking of contract law we're not allowed jokes about

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00guy walks into a bar it's not a joke why are you laughing already notice what…
2. 3:05of all types of members of the nation and after saying all these different types it…
3. 6:12to Judaism but it wasn't sincere but after they had already done so they had already…
4. 9:15which town he lived in but he was watching a documentary about Jews in America and…
5. 12:53there's a difference between tolerance and interdependence tolerance means that even though someone's different from us…
6. 16:01of Israel children women the convert within your camp from the choppers of wood to the…
7. 19:07his wife's labor and he got a couple actually was more than a couple there were…
8. 22:47right or somebody took my moxa or they they took day that he took they took…
9. 25:52in this partnership that we've signed on to it and now we can't get out so…
10. 28:58our ability to strike a strong deal with with Hashem when we say to him look…

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