LOVE or LIMITS? | The Rebbe's approach to GENTLE PARENTING

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi Shais Taub’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

We've come to a point where we recognize that certain paradigms are no longer effective. Children don't respond to the harshness and fear-based and shame-based chinuch. But the question becomes what do we replace that with? Ah, it's nice to be back in Crown Heights. I want to thank Junior N'shei for bringing me here. Why not? Yes, please. Applause for our organizers. Um I like to speak in Crown Heights to Lubavitchers because then I can speak more directly. Here in Crown Heights, you guys all get my references. And we've all studied the same books. And we've all been shaped, hopefully our thinking has been shaped by by the same Rebbe. And so that saves me a lot of time cuz I can just sort of say things as they are. So let me do that. I'm going to just jump in and say things as they are. Um I think there's confusion today. I think there's confusion today because we've come to a point where we recognize that certain paradigms that were familiar to us are no longer effective. I'm talking about the old style of parenting that perhaps was quite popular and pervasive in previous generations or maybe even not that long ago, a few years ago even. And we've come to a point where we realize that's not really what Torah wants, it's not really what Chassidus wants. And besides for all that, it doesn't work. Children don't respond to the harshness and fear-based and shame-based chinuch. So we've come to a point where we

Jump to a moment

1. 0:00We've come to a point where we recognize that certain paradigms are no longer effective. Children…
2. 6:03to educating our children. And uh I think we need to be understanding of the fact…
3. 12:10it says if you come to a town and you see a statue and you're not…
4. 18:19doesn't mean that you abandon people. Now that you're no longer beating them with the mackel…
5. 24:28Breaking as opposed to attracting. The the misconception is, and I understand where this misconception comes…
6. 30:45she had just finished the first year of a two-year program in Eretz Yisrael. What we…
7. 36:55what's good for you. Or probably more accurately, you're thinking about what what what's bad for…
8. 43:10who says they care? Who says they care? Maybe they Maybe this person wasn't even religious.…
9. 49:17a soul, we're not afraid of what they might want. We want to bring out more…
10. 55:38to the next generation. Very, very few. Very few frum families in the early 1900s. And…

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