When Your Child Is Struggling: Changing Your Paradigm

What’s said in this shiur

The opening of this shiur, in Rabbi YY Jacobson’s own words — taken from the captions, so names and Hebrew terms may be approximate.

a few minutes ago he was there at that speech and in the middle of the speech i spoke about the nafshoi shura and the fact that the way we are created the relationship between parents and children is what's called an ahava shayna bedover as it says in prakayavas a love a love that's not conditional there's no ulterior motives it's not a love that is based on ah conditional love it's unconditional in swarm it's called an ava atmos another atmos means it's innate it's intrinsic it's essential it's my core to your core it's not based on your actions or lack it's not based on your actions or lack of them based on your gestures based on your words based on your behaviors those are important but they actually can eclipse the real genuine love because when a child behaves what we would call so perfectly and beautifully when you get those nachos notes like you got in second grade remember the nachos notes on the report card you want to go back to those days it's amazing and it's a great feeling it's amazing and it's a great feeling and we're very grateful for it but it actually eclipses the essential love that's unconditional that sometimes comes out precisely in a moment of failure and disappointment and setbacks a deeper relationship comes out a much deeper relationship this is what i spoke about in that community and i said and therefore be very very careful

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1. 0:32a few minutes ago he was there at that speech and in the middle of the…
2. 6:10remember that right the road to hell is paved with a lot of people who mean…
3. 12:48for those of you have been davening all your life say it once in english so…
4. 19:09lunchtime that's where we have breakfast lunch dinner and for jews we have chakras of music…
5. 25:19pit easily but you know what happens the pit of the peach falls onto the earth…
6. 31:24parents cut yourself slack don't go into the work of self-blame and self-loathing and guilt first…
7. 37:20i have to search where i lost aveda can i go to that place where i…
8. 43:27child or my student is anything but a manifestation of divine love and divine light is…
9. 49:39rip shaman alluded to it this is feedback to stories of shabbos advice is important but…
10. 55:51right and then he's like i went through a lot of trauma small shiloh thank you…

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